Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A day in the life of

When you happen to be at the butcher's you ask if they have one of these:


Guess who has a Bones exam in September?

Now, before you can use it to study, before you can write the names of all accidents on it, you need to do this:


Nothing like a juicy cow bone when you wake up from a surprise nap

For a veeeery looooong time. You need to boil it till everything that isn't bone is cooked, so you can remove it. And even then the bone will always stink a bit - of old bones, as it were. There's a distinct boney pong that adheres to your hands after you've manipulated them for a while. Mind you, the cooking of the bone itself stinks too. And vile bone smells wafting from the pot or the studying table never fail to attract these:

Oh the horror! What has she gone and got - again??

J.I.P. wasn't happy, and proceeded to back off hastily and then jump off the counter. Which was ok bcs little cats do not belong on kitchen counters. Not that Hum-Hum ["H" pronnounced like the Spanish "J", "U" pronounced as "oo", means Brown-Brown in Hebrew] cares about that, she wasn't fazed much:

I wish she'd pass the stupid exam already, this isn't dignified.

But then, her new idea of good, clean fun is throwing IKEA-bought bedside table lamps to the ground and then be very annoyed bcs the noise of glass shattering gives her a fright. How dare they.


A cow was actually harmed before the making of this post but, for once, I didn't have a thing to do with it.

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13 Comments:

At 1/6/05 00:39, Blogger Candace said...

The chef-me is screaming, "MAKE STOCK! MAKE STOCK! DON'T WASTE THAT BONE!"

 
At 1/6/05 01:16, Blogger The Lioness said...

Oh I thought of that but this will take a few days, and the word "bacteria" is running through my mind at high speed...

 
At 1/6/05 02:47, Blogger Viscondessa said...

I absolutely loved this post. Loved it. I think most of all for Hum and J.I.P.'s hilarious expressions, but also because it's just so... well... Lioness-like. Destined to be a classic.

 
At 1/6/05 03:13, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh! It is my babies! I miss them so much. Thank you for this post.

I was laughing at it as well, viscondessa. It is Lioness-like, isn't it? Why can I handle the bone so much better than the tales of the autopsies? Probably because there isn't a face.

 
At 1/6/05 03:51, Blogger Lord Chimmy said...

Yeah, with one of those bones you could make a good barley soup! Or, I imagine all the people I could club over the head with a bone like that...THUD! My enemies would never expect me to go straight neanderthal on their asses...

Is this homework, or are you just studying on your own? Are you a nerd? :)

I like the picture posts. You're a good story teller.

 
At 1/6/05 08:41, Blogger brooksba said...

Johnny,

I loved this! Thanks for letting us see some pictures of J.I.P. and Hum-Hum. I miss them and you terribly!

Beijos!

 
At 1/6/05 12:53, Blogger Noorster said...

You scare me sometimes.

 
At 1/6/05 13:59, Blogger Diana said...

What are you going to do to study for the test on the cow's skull? You will need a bigger pot, I think.

 
At 1/6/05 14:31, Blogger The Lioness said...

Chimmy, I have an Osteology exam in September and bcs I cannot function spatially at all, I need the bones to help me understand what goes where. This will be fun.

Diana, we use a horse's head, UNCUT. I have nightmares where the etmoid figures prominently. There can be no worse bone, I LOATHE it. I want to get a scapula for the exam, SCAPULA, SCAPULA, SCAPULA! Everyone, just keep repeating it please. Puuuulease!

 
At 1/6/05 14:46, Blogger D said...

You shouldn't have cooked it. You should have left it out in the sun, take it with you to class and put on your desk prominently. Every day. Maggots, flies, death stench and all. Until they swear you'll graduate, no matter what the score.
That'll teach THEM.

 
At 1/6/05 15:14, Blogger Bubbi said...

Just perfect! really :)
After my vet experience the other day and now (see blog)--it just fits, is all.

 
At 1/6/05 20:25, Blogger Savtadotty said...

It's a good thing my dog is far enough away from Portugal or she would find a way to jump up on your counter to get at that bone...or any other bones you have lying around your morgue/home.

I agree with Diana: you need a bigger pot. I guess you don't make much soup or pasta for large groups these days.

 
At 2/6/05 18:20, Blogger ThreeBees said...

The best part is seeing that gigantic bone sticking out of that small pot! Too funny!

 

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