Thursday, September 29, 2005

[Pssst! OY!]

[*tentatively* Yoohooo!

Anyone still out there? Have been alternating btwn ill and ill-ish - yes, AGAIN, no, NOT ear-related though it didn't help -, am still feeling a bit weak and computer-unfriendly, screen glows in very bothersome way. Rephrasing, should you have missed its importance: have had no interest in any sort of laptop-related activity for almost a week now. This is scaring the hell out of me, my soul has taken leave of my senses. On the practical side, I could keep my ciggies in my eye pouches if I still smoked but my body is ensuring I never shall again - I tried to take up smoking again for a while [short story, bygones], couldn’t do it, stuff tastes absolutely vile. Gah. Phlegm, abundantly, chez Pride.

GOOD: Yesterday and today were spent watching Will & Grace [*falls to her knees in ecstasy and adoration*], Must Love Dogs [cute enough and surprisingly fun at times, and WOW has he got better since My Best friend’s Wedding!], The L Word [Shane still cool, Jenny still needs a sound slap; Bette couldn't possibly be any duller and see-my-liquidy-eyes-oh-how-I-ache-if-only-I-were-Jewish-as-well-I’d-have-the-full -suffering-trinity; why oh why did he have to leave; why is Marina gone; Tina really IS preggers, it is fantastic to see how at ease and gorgeous she is; and Roseanne Arquette isn't ageing gracefully AT ALL]. Have also been re-reading the Scarpetta thrillers from the beginning (may it erase the memory of her last book please) and read The Empty Chair and have become addicted, ABSOLUTELY, must have all other Lincoln Rhyme/Amelia Sachs books now.

**Will & Grace Worship Reason # 1**

Jack trying to recall the name of former lover of his:
Jack: Bleached hair, goatee, tattoo, who am I talking abt?
Karen: God, I don't know honey, you've just described a needle in a gaystack.

**Will & Grace Worship Reason # 2**

It gave me beaver and camel toe and a few others I’d remember if my being ill hadn’t finished off what vet school started, how could I not love it. I DO LOVE IT!

BAD: If a tree falls down in the forest and no one is writing or reading a post about it, can it actually make a sound? No. I disappeared for a week and no one even bothered to sing this to me.]

Friday, September 23, 2005


Have two long bruised welts/abrasions on each buttock.

They fit in w the last-few-days theme: a few good things but mostly RATHER BAD AND BLEAK AND INCESSANT DREAMING OF DEATH AND VIOLENCE MAKES FOR VERY POOR COLOURING IN THE MORNING. You'd not believe how I got the bruises/welts/abrasions, rather boring. Must go clothes shopping so no time to post, will say for now that God is most definitely to blame for my poor bum condition. OY.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

One giant gone

We will always see further for having stood on his shoulders.

Simon Wiesenthal, 1908-2005.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

This is your Friendly Footnote speaking

Hullo everyone, this is your friendly Footnote speaking. Please remain seated. I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate what has already been said in the comments of the previous post, in regard to the previous post:

  1. The author of said post thinks that Bush is a bleeding idiot
  2. The author is sure he doesn't know how to spell properly
  3. The author is sure he doesn't know what pandemia is
  4. The author therefore thought it was hysterical that he was portrayed as having actually used the word pandemia in a perfectly pertinent context
  5. The author is sure that, if he indeed used the word, as Misfit would put it we have his handlers to thank for - exclusively
  6. The author would consequently like to invite all of you to engage in the following mental exercise: replace pandemia with any other word of your choice that is not commonly used, e.g. hermeneutic, then pretend the post was abt the troll’s unlikely use of it
  7. The author would like to ask: now do you see?, and then say: Gah
  8. The author would like to vehemently emphasise the worth of ethological knowledge (and the use of semicolons); visualise some applied sheep behaviour being thrown in Anonymous’ general direction then.
  9. The author would furthermore like to encourage our very closeted own David Attenborough to leave other equally intriguing trivia bits on this blog as long as they are animal-related for this is absolutely the place where they should come to rest – did Anonymous know, for instance, that chicken cluck and can make an absolute racket in the wee hours of the morning, or indeed all night? Astonishing, yes!
  10. Finally, the author would like to point out, for accuracy’s sake, that Anonymous is simultaneously correct and doing sheep cognition a disservice: sheep can, for instance, remember over 50 different sheep and 10 human faces for more than two years. It’s not all bleak you know. It’s not all meh. It all rather depends on the point of ewe.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

"And we will look together"

This is why I shouldn't watch the news, it either a) depresses me or b) makes me laugh so hysterically I fear for the other eardrum which a) depresses me:


Bush warned the world today that the bird flu may be the 21st century's pandemia.


Of course he did.

Because he actually knows the meaning of 'pandemia'.


*coughs up disgusted furball*

Monday, September 12, 2005

No worries, I won't

But right now, eadrum and all, all I can think abt is a nice, juicy fag.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Eardrum perforation =

= agonising, throbbing pain (left ear + left molars and pre-molars on u./l. jaw), ghastly night, begging chemist for SOMETHING, I DON'T CARE WHAT at 1 am, and parting w an astonishing amount of money for ER visit + medication the next afternoon, despite medical insurance. Misfit, I remember you had this pleasure a while ago. Thankfully our doctors do not find it odd that adults have the occasional otitis and I am already medicated not quite 24 h later. Oh the fucking pain of it! Feeling better but still pissy, all I did was wash my bloody hair.

SATURDAY, 8.30 am:

Praia Setembro Im, Papoila, Patinho

Praia Setembro Papoila enterra Patinho

Praia Setembro Eu

Thursday, September 08, 2005

WANTED: Lesbian Supervision

I have a male friend who is gay and as book-crazy as I am and I have therefore been reading gay literature for years now. That has taught me a truly great lot abt gay culture - alas, at times almost more than I could bear for some things I did not need to know, and yet I now do. His dinner parties have also exposed me to some truly flamboyant characters, whom I love to talk to bcs they are hilarious and their mannerisms are to die for. Thanks to them I have been introduced to such pearls as Domesticity Isn't Pretty and a rather delightfully foul-mouthed Bette Midler. I was never a fag hag but oh I can think of much worse things. Of coure, now I never go out clubbing anymore and I'm only up by 6 am if I have insomnia but those were fun times.

He lived abroad for a while, then I lived abroad, then he lived abroad - so whenever we happened to be in the same country and it was here I'd go round and bring a batch of books w me to see me through 2 weeks or so. Of course, him being gay, my being straight and curious, those happened to be 99.9% gay books (author AND theme, that is, so you'd have Coupland who is not obviously gay and then the gay plots/characters). Some I found vile, some I found passable, some absolutely lovely, some unbelievably hysterical, some disturbingly beautiful. Auster's Moon Palace came home w me one of those times and, as much as I was loving it, I couldn't fully appreciate it bcs halfway into the story, there still was NO SIGN of the gay character! Where was the gay character? When would he show up? WHERE WAS THE GAY CHARACTER ALREADY, this absence was too disconcerting.


Abt 2/3 into the book I realised there was NO gay character, NONE WHATSOEVER. The git had given me a straight book for fuck's sake, and without warning me first! I was absolutely livid and am still outraged to this day and he still laughs heartily when we talk abt it. There is always a tense moment upon picking new books now as I narrow my eyes and enquire abt the straighticity of all involved. And he'd better be accurate bcs if there are going to be straight books among that pile AGAIN, I'd better be forwarned.

--- He always refused to take me to the one lesbian bar we had in the city when I asked, he always said he wouldn't be able to protect me. What the hell does that mean? I sat on little pyramid-shaped stools in a gay bar - alright so the tips were rounded but I SAT ON A BLOODY CONE TIP FOR HIM and yet he refused to take me to a lesbian bar. What were the lesbians going to do, beat him up? Isn't he kin of sorts? Or would they mob me, do I look too straight? Are our lesbians more predatory? WHAT? The ignorant Anthropologist, now I fit right in. ---

All this to say, I am pretty fluent in Gayish, not so in Lesbianish. His cousin is a lesbian as well - but my only contact w her were his parties, and one day she showed up w her girfriend who was the daughter of a colleague of mine from when I was reading Anthropology who was just the tiniest bit mad, and with whom I had done fieldwork in the North [and good grief the horror stories I could tell you abt that], and so I exclaimed S., hullo! The world is a small pea indeed, how is your mother? And she replied I wouldn't know. And I dearly wished I'd choke on the pea but as stated, it was a rather smallish one. So yes, Gayish Spoken and that is all.

I now need your assistance bcs I am watching the 1st episode of The L Word and I am enjoying it, even though it builds up a bit slowly, and I find it fabulous that they really kiss and get naked and grind their pelvis against each other etc. and there is no hypocrisy in the filming of it, it looks bloody real, so real I am left wondering if the actresses are all lesbians, that's how good they are. And I love Shane, I LOVE HER, the way she moves, the way she talk, her voice, LOVE LOVE LOVE! She is what I'd like to be if I didn't give a damn and were tough and careless and androgynously skinny and gorgeous and dark and supremely confident in my skin and profoundly scarred and wary of willies. [But I haven't even finished watching the 1st episode so what do I know abt Shane.]

Just now they were sitting around discussing Shane, who is the equivalent of the group's stud. See? I do not have accurate vocabulary for this! Shane is bonking her way through Southern California, it would seem, and doesn't much care whether her chosen ones' hearts are broken in the process as long as she is given access to other organs and bits. So, after she gets up to go shag yet another one the girls [am I allowed to call American lesbians girls or must it be women at all times? Serioulsy.] talk abt it and they decide it is her confidence and then one of them says:

Shane has the best nipples and she knows it.


And this one sentence showed me the gulf between all lesbians and me bcs I had noticed Shane's breasts in the sense that she doesn't have any really. And I am aware that nipples are part of the package, yes. But I wasn't of the fact that you can have almost no boobs at all and still it doesn't matter bcs you have the best nipples. We are all influenced by the straight culture we grow up in and men pay loads of attention to the boobs and whether they can see the nipple, yes, but it's the visibility of it rather than how glamorous it is that matters, the nipple being more or less the cherry on top. Or am I mistaken?

Shane is said to have nipple confidence and I'll say, where have I been that I don't know these things? They all live in L.A., I suppose that could make a difference, they're differently obsessed over there. Let that be it, I don't want to have to start worrying abt my nipples now, my ass is taking too much of my time as it is! Is the nipple the new penis, w all the size and shape and girth worries it entails?

Possible lesbian readership, I'd love to have your take on this. Elswhre? Jen? Anyone?

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Why The Lioness will kick ass

This was called something else bcs it was abt something else. But bear with me and read what used to be this post first, if so inclined:


As of now, I am on holiday. No more exams, holiday till the 1st. Fourteen days with nothing to do but read and sleep and watch series and movies. My first holiday since 2001. Details later but really, who cares!


Starting w the re-reading of the whole Hitchiker's Trilogy of five, NOW.




I thought of something I have been meaning to blog abt but then kept forgetting/postponing but something rather cool - and fitting - happened last weekend.

I have been worrying abt the size of my ass since I stopped smoking bcs I munch all the time. I used to munch even as a smoker but not so much, obviously, that'd be impossible. [Hmm, no it wouldn't. I've just remembered that when I was an exchange student in Germany I went for a one-week exchange to France and it was ghastly for several reasons but one of them was that the family smoked at the table, during the meal - and said meal was snails, which I love but don't eat anymore ever, but not user-friendly snails, these were HUMUNGOUS motherfuckering snails drowned in some horrid little pasteous sauce oh blech, JIFFA!]

*Gathering bearings, hold on*

Fat ass, right. I therefore decided, also for my psychic well-being [some of you may remember what a mindfuck of a year this has been] that I need some physical activity on a regular basis to better help me - well live, really. I need to detoxify my body and my soul.

Someone almost lost a limb upon suggesting aerobics - they clearly haven't had the time to get to know all of me, obviously. AEROBICS! I'd rather drag around an ass that would cause hominids to worship me. I am terribly picky w sports - shocker, yes? - and there's only so much that doesn't bore me out of my mind. Forget abt gymnastics of any sort, dulldulldull. I used to ride and I love to dance salsa, but riding has been on hold for a while and salsa was once a week, which was not enough. I could see myself enjoying Water Polo but my skin prevents me from dumping into chlorine and enjoying it. Bike-riding would be fine if a) the Porties didn't go out of their way to try and run over the bikers and b) this city weren't hilly as bloody hell.

I came upon this: Krav Maga, a self defence course, which I've always wanted to take. I told someone this, Look here, this is exactly what I've been looking for, this self defence thingy! And they looked at me funny and said Well that's Israeli, did you know? No I didn't. Ha! GENES WILL TELL!

So yes, see, The Lioness will at some point know how to properly kick ass in a most effective manner, even though her Hebrew sucks rock rather more than even she knew. Soon she'll be splitting bricks in two w her bare forehead and talking abt herself in the 3rd person. Mi águárdji! *Strikes fierce feral pose, exits haughtily*

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Everybody Clap Your Hands Inanely Now!

For all who say this isn't about politics: it is, it is about politics when politics are the reason so many are dead and so many more will still die. It is ALL about politics.

For all who say we mustn't assign blame: Mustn't we? Why? Many are responsible for these deaths, the avoidable ones. Why are they not to blame? Why are they not to be blamed? Why hide behind the What's important now is to help the people?

It is indeed important to help the people.

But. BUT. It is important that the people we are now helping know we take their suffering seriously. It is important that their suffering is not minimised, that we don’t further rob them of their dignity by our collective Ssssh, hush, the booboo will stop hurting soon.

Newsflash y'all, the booboo will NOT stop hurting soon and it ain’t a fucking booboo anyway. Uzi was killed in the tsunami but if he had been killed now and someone were trying to tell me it's all in the past now, the future is what matters now - well, I'd want their eyes and some evisceration, I promise you. I do not care how prettified the package is, it is offensive, it is immoral, it is obscene. Now is the time to point the finger and say YOU FAILED US, yes it is! Now is the time to point the finger and say YOU MUST BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR ACTIONS AND LACK THEREOF, of course it is! If not now, when?

Did I miss the mega-congress that decreed humans no longer are an open program species with the ability to learn and multitask? Are we now capable of either/or only? Help or Think?

It is all very well to mindlessly go abt helping others. It worked for Mother Teresa and her poor, and there is worth in that. But frankly, I have long felt that there is much more merit in one of Sister Helen Prejean's
fingers than in the whole of Mother Teresa. Bcs Sister Helen woke up and smelt the bitter coffee, she realised that it is fine to tend to injuries but it’s so much better to fight in order to prevent them from happening in the first place. And she went against everything she had been taught, everyone and the Catholic Church to live by what she believes, and she paid the price for doing so, for not hiding behind The Greater Picture.

We cannot separate misery from politics, we cannot separate life and death from politics, especially when those lives and those deaths are political events. It is shameful and belittling to them and us to even want to do so.

So I blame the Mayor for failing to have a plan; and the Governor, isn’t it obvious why; and FEMA, good grief, FEMA and that Michael Brown anomaly, yes I blame him so much; and above all I blame that worthless, stomach-churning prosimian that is the President of the USA for failing to step in when it became obvious the situation wasn’t being attended to at all – and him I blame above all because he holds the ultimate power. UPDATE: And his mother who dared to say this is working very well for the victims, if you can believe that.

I am bloody tired of having the cowardly and the inept rule us all and of our closing our eyes to it due to what can only be personal reasons, and am tired of having American political correctness, one of the greatest plagues to ever ravage the planet, shoved down my throat. No one can act in a despicable manner, in a manner that has fatal consequences, and not be held accountable. Or, better put, no one should be able to. I am bloody tired of this collective LALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU, THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE NOW. I am thinking about the people. In fact, I cannot stop thinking about the people. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking abt the people. [The animals as wel but we’ve established the pro-multitasking bias.] And then I think about the people we will be writing abt in the future because bad things happen especialy to the unprepared.

I refuse to eat your bullshit so please stop offering.

aren’t hungry either. [Thanks]


UPDATE: the brolls© (Bush trolls) have landed. Trolls at large, I must insist that when you leave comments here you:

a) address me with "You", not "you". Your President *insert reverent bow* will be so proud of your fine manners;
b1) gather your courage and sense of honour and leave your real name and link. No one will harm you, more will respect you;
b2) that failing, give yourself a moniker, something like "Broll but Kyoto-friendly" or "Broll but fond of rainbow stickers" This Anon thingy can be so very dull.

Oh Brolls, I can tell we're going to be such good friends! *Claps hands inanely*

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Sorrow still floats, Irving still right

Feel helpless, nothing worse than that.

[Don't want to sleep bcs every time I do I dream of the people in the Dome and the people in the Convention Centre and the people on the freeways and highways and the people on the streets and the bodies floating in the water and oh the bodies in the water and I don't know why I am having flashbacks of those images I saw when I still hoped Uzi was still alive and spent hours looking at pictures from the tsunami and the bodies trying to identify him bcs this was a natural disaster but one that was expected, I cannot explain it and didn't know until I woke up at 5 am last night that it was affecting me so thoroughly, I knew I'd been avoiding all coverage of it but I thought it was merely part of my general life strategy these days - i.e. no misery in my life if I can help it - but I suppose it isn't bcs I've also been thinking abt all those who haven't heard abt their family and pets and friends but I choose to believe that most of those will receive the right sort of phone call please God let them receive the right sort of phone call bcs life becomes a bit of a nightmare otherwise and I am so bloody tired of all these Life-Before-And-Afters. I fear I may become thick-skinned, I fear I won't.]

Read post below for what you can do to help.


Four years today and the slime that rules us all

[If here via Tertia please scroll down, links under "HOW YOU CAN HELP"]

Four years ago today I was spending my last day in Israel on the kibbutz. I was supposed to have flown home the day before but JIP, with that uncanny cat sense they have, had decided not to come back to the room at all. Uzi and I looked everywhere for her and in the end he drove me to the airport so I could postpone the flight. She showed up immediately after our return and was very much distressed bcs she was forced to stay in till the next day, and then it was Humungous Pet Carrier Time for her and the baby (Tripod was abt 4-5 months old then).

And I remember being on that aeroplane and knowing that coming back was the right decision bcs Vet School was absolutely the right thing for me [HA!], but that it was breaking my heart. Uzi and I had spent a good 3 hours at the airport just sitting on trolleys and talking bcs we were early, and we also took pics of us and the cats in/on the pet carrier. The notion that everything was never going to be the same was so strongly w me I couldn't bring myself to have the film developped. I don't even know where said film is, much to my added grief now. I believe I'd have overcome my reticence if I'd known that was the last time I'd see Uzi alive. Don't cry Pip, you'll be back so very soon, and we'll visit each other often anyway, it will almost be the same thing.

Yesterday was a bad Uzi day even bfr I remembered the date. Then I did. Then it was an even worse day.

New Orleans... I've just woken up after 3 h of sleep, I woke up at 5.17 am thinking of all those at the Dome and everywhere else. I have been very effective at watching even less news than usual but information does filter in and my stomach has been increasingly heavy. Last night I was reading a blog by a nurse, a blog I used to enjoy loads bcs she often goes into detail abt clinical cases and procedures. She was talking abt a man who is devastated bcs he doesn't know what became of his 3 cats, which he had to abandon behind as he evacuated. And then she said something like "Oh well, as long as that is your biggest problem." And I was left staring at a computer screen wondering how on earth someone who chose nursing for a job can show this much compassion.* I know leaving my animals behind would kill me - actually, I wouldn't leave them behind, EVER. That would be as unconscionable as abandoning children, I think. It breaks my heart into minute pieces just thinking abt all those pets and strays. I've accepted the responsibility, it is mine till the end. How could I ever live w myself otherwise?

This was the last straw and now the floodgates of hell are open again. Imagine your city w all the supermarkets under water, all your familiar landmarks gone, imagine your house is only visible at roof level and you have got nothing but the clothes you are wearing. You have lost everything. EVERYTHING. It's unimaginable really, and there's too much water in it again, too much death and misery through water again. But this time, unlike the tsunami that killed Uzi, so much could have been prevented bcs WE KNEW IT WAS COMING! Hey Bush boy, how's the holiday going? You enjoying yourself there, love? How's that golf handicap? Should be close to 0 w all the practice you've been getting. Must be good to rule the world, all this free time and pahtying.

Bush is a murderer and a worse one w every day that goes by. Iraque wasn't bad enough, apparently - where is he now? Where are you, you coward, now that women are being raped in the Dome and no one does anything to prevent it? Now that armed groups have claimed their power back in the worst possible way, now that people are left starving and dying of thirst because life as we know it is over in New Orleans and there is nowhere to turn to for things we take so granted every day such as bread and water, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU BLEEDING IDIOT? There are people stranded everywhere and no one coming to their rescue! Katrina was devastating enough but that the very poor (and very black, how surprising, and no one mentions it - reverse racism at its best, see how PC shit can kill?) are now being blamed for not having done what they were told - they are POOR, how could they have evacuated? With what money, with what means? And how were they to anyway, after traffic came to a near halt due to the human stampede, even if they had found the means? Where were you, Bush boy, where are you still?

Bush is a criminal, is what I think, and he belongs in jail, preferably Guantanamo-like. He makes me sick with disgust and shame and I curse the day this man was elected - and America, the world thanks you, really we do, how could we not, our fate in the hands of an acephalous wannabe cowboy. If there ever are photos of him in his underwear in the newspaper, believe me I'll keep mum. Forget abt fair, let's talk justice now. I wish I could spit in his face or smack him soundly across that lying mouth of his. The man makes me lose all composure and I feel my blood boiling!

Read this, he says it so clearly. And she does as well.



If you're feeling overwhelmed, donating IS something you can do and you may save lives and help give thousands some dignity and hope back. If you're concerned abt whether your money will be used properly, make sure you choose a bona fide organisation.

  • The Fug girls have put together an amazing collection of links for money donations here, as has The Truth Laid Bear.
  • If you want to donate goods go here, these people are gathering comfort goods to make life easier for those who have lost everything and will at some point be relocated to hotels.
  • You can register to house the now homeless here.
  • You can help the animals here and here. Please find out how to and help them and their worried owners.
  • And blood, you can give blood even if you can't afford to donate money. There never is enough and now it's certainly needed. Some of us would give a lot to be able to and aren't allowed, please don't waste what is a truly wondrous gift.

Update: I put my money where my mouth is and have donated both to people and to animals. Do you know, I could never donate for anything Tsunami-related and it increased my sense of loss bcs those people, the survivors who lost their houses and their families or part of it, were victims as well. Less than Uzi, of course, but victims nevertheless and I have been refusing to help. I simply couldn't and I still cannot even look at advertising banners. This time I wasn't a coward, see, and my money will help, my money will make a difference, I will make a difference instead of simply wringing my hands and crying and breathing on in general.

*Update 2: I went back to that nurse's blog bcs I wanted to leave a comment and as it turns out she didn't say what I thought she did, it was a misunderstanding, she is heartbroken over the animals as well, and I am very grateful that I can keep on reading and thinking good things abt her. Sorry abt that again, HN!

Update 3: Kayne West is my new hero. It took balls indeed, and more anger than I like to think abt. And through Dovbear I found this: Ted Koppel slaying Michael Brown, Director of FEMA. Indeed. Astonishing! He didn't even know the difference between the Convention Centre and the Dome! [The American habit of over-using one's first name when replying is rather annoying, gah!] There's also this piece where Shepard Smith tells you how people are locked inside the Convention Centre, and how a checkpoint has been set up on a major road preventing people from going into Gretna, Louisianna, where there is electricity and hope, how anyone walking out of New Orleans is sent right back in, and a very disturbing Hannity person says he wants to get perspective and an absolutely shell-shocked Smith yells back THIS IS PERSPECTIVE!

Update 4: In awe of her, as usual.


Friday, September 02, 2005

Now De-blonded

Translucid (Spaghetti dress)

A bit vivid, a bit orangey. We'll see.

Futile, transient re-inventing furthered:

Spaghetti Dress Long EmbossedSpaghetti Dress Long Warhol

Spaghetti Dress Long BW

Rather comforting to be able to be so many, and to barely recognise them - us - me at times.


De-blonding not entirely effective, as it turns out. Hypothetically speaking, had this post been daftly and yet swiftly deleted along w first comments, first comments might have been a bit like:

Panda: Like, like very much. Will kill you for your cheekbones too!

Lorem Ipsum: Still beautiful. :-)

These ladies would possibly be mahvellous, were they to truly exist. And this addition would have had to be included here rather than the comments section bcs, hypothetically, one would still not know how to create links while in there.