Tuesday, March 22, 2005

100-Odd Things

01 - I buy Winnie The Pooh notebooks for school
02 - I rub my right foot in circles against the mattress as I fall asleep
03 - I still twirl my hair around my fingers
04 - I bite my bottom lip when I’m stressed, embarrassed, angry or moved
05 - I bite my bottom lip a lot
06 - I also pout without noticing it
07 - I find it rather daft
08 - I sometimes find it hard to believe that people can actually be bad and mean
09 - Surely it’s an urban myth
10 - I get lost everywhere
11 - I once got lost in my room, in the dark
12 - I was never a cool kid
13 - I was lonely often
14 - Reading is still my therapy of choice
15 - I often find books more interesting than people
16 - I no longer feel guilty abt it
17 - Books are the one thing I cannot do without
18 - I sometimes read so much I become queasy
19 - I must read bfr I fall asleep, I simply must
20 - Under duress I’ll read Trivial Pursuit cards, medication boxes and stories abt innocent orphaned ballerinas and world-savvy grey-eyed men with a cleft chin
21 - My parents are the most honest, decent and remarkable individuals I know
22 - Our family are very small, it saddens me a bit

23 - And we're sometimes too fucking polite to others
24 - I am good to have around in a medical emergency, I keep my wits about me
25 - But if there was pain involved I'll not sleep afterwards
26 - I am afraid of death and can’t even really think abt it
27 - I’ve always been afraid of tsunamis (and this one made me laugh just now - no, really)
28 - I’m also afraid of fireworks, thunderstorms, winding roads at great heights and fires
29 - I was in a car once when it started burning
30 - I’m always on Alert Mode in a car
31 - Actually, I’m always on Alert Mode, full stop
32 - (But I’m really absent-minded)
33 - I worry abt mostly everything, all the time
34 - I suffer too much over too little
35 - I know people who can fall asleep in seconds, anytime, anywhere
36 - I badly want to hurt them
37 - I have a fantasy: abduction by aliens that will fix my genetic code
38 - I know it’s impossible but - not really
39 - I don’t really believe I’ll ever be free of Psoriasis
40 - If I ever see the small scar on my knee again I'll probably feel compelled to say say How Do You Do
41 - I’m a bit tired of people staring at me and flinching
42 - But I’ve devised a t-shirt that will take care of it in the Summer
43 - Smell is my sharpest sense
44 - I could never be with someone whose smell I didn’t like
45 - I love the way men smell
46 - I love the bit where the neck meets the shoulder, and the curve btwn the last floating rib and the iliac bone
47 - I believe well-shaped mouths exist to be lightly, painstakingly bitten
48 - I fancy men in kilts, clogs or doing the Haka
49 - But I find most men painfully dull
50 - I’m terribly, terribly hard to please
51 - Bad grammar turns me off
52 - High-pitched laughter/voices do as well
53 - I have a tender spot for diastemas
54 - I almost never feel graceful
55 - I am horribly ticklish
56 - I play with my belly button piercing
57 - I am in vet school
58 - Every day I am grateful for it, every day I just want to give up
59 - I often lose track of days, like today (thought it was Sunday). Uzi called it The Wednesday Syndrome, Fridays always caught me unawares and therefore gave me great joy

60 - I am addicted to infertility blogs
61 - Oh bloody hell, I’m addicted to the internet in general
62 - I find it wondrous that I can just chat with people across the Atlantic and further away
63 - I used to think it odd that some built friendships online
64 - Serves me right doesn’t it
65 - I am truly grateful that you are there, behind my screen, occasionally in my house
66 - I would swim w sharks but cockroaches make me go all... girly
67 - I have some freckles but not nearly enough
68 - I am very impatient, always know best and can be terribly harsh
69 - I can be a real cow is what I’m saying
70 - I don’t always find it a bad thing
71 - I have no discipline
72 - I love food but hate cooking
73 - I am also very bad at it
74 - Dill in any form makes me gag
75 - I wish I were a vegetarian but lack the willpower - so I mostly eat free range
76 - I don’t drink coffee but can't do without Coke
77 - I hate showering and bathing, and always shower in the evening
78 - I dislike my skin, even if the good bits are very smooth
79 - I've been told by 5 people already that I look like Uma Thurman
80 - I look nothing like Uma Thurman, really I don't
81 - I’m a tellyholic
82 - When I don’t have someone what I miss most are snogging sessions and spooning
83 - I am blonde and don’t look Portuguese at all
84 - Whenever I’m at the airport w baggage some land personnel bloke will invariably approach me in English
85 - I lay on a thick accent and always let him help me
86 - I have a rather wry and dark sense of humour
87 - People often don’t understand it
88 - I get addicted to everything
89 - I was never attracted to drugs
90 - But I smoke and hate the smell of it
91 - Whenever I learn a new game, my friends scurry away and remain wary for the next 3 months
92 - Bcs I do get addicted to everything, see
93 - I cannot sing at all, or play an instrument
94 - But I do a mean impersonation of Kermit singing "Summertime"
95 - My favourite books are The Neverending Story, The Power of One and To Kill a Mockingbird
96 - I cry whenever I re-read them
97 - I cry and smile really easily
98 - I only keep the books I like, and re-read them all the time
99 - I've now run out of book space
100 - I am very bad at letting go
101 - Hence, 101 already
102 - Stupid, dumb, rude people aggravate me beyond words
103 - I love films with happy endings
104 - I love happy endings in all forms actually, and love stories
105 - I find it very hard to read the blogs I love and NOT know what the person looks like
106 - I really, really do
107 - I have a tendency to believe everything I’m told
108 - I’m afraid that if I ever have kids I’ll be a rotten Mum
109 - I don’t really believe I’ll have kids though
110 - I also find it unlikely I’ll ever marry
111 - I would love to have twins
112 - I’ve always wanted a twin brother
113 - I am convinced I had one in utero
114 - I hate the cold
115 - I am always cold
116 - I wear socks to bed
117 - And sheep pyjamas
118 - I love shoes, bags, bras and knickers and am going through a thongy phase
119 - I have a hard time finding shoes that are both brilliant and comfy
120 - I over-compensate w bags and then wear the same three only all the time
121 - I really do own an obscene amount of clothes
122 - I’m sometimes mistaken for a man on the phone
123 - But my voice is not that deep so it’s a mystery
124 - Animals like me
125 - I like them back, very much so
126 - I cannot imagine my life without cats
127 - I believe we get from life what we put in it
128 - I absolutely cannot stand whiners, martyrs or troubled souls
129 - I am un-obviously shy
130 - It causes me no end of trouble
131 - People often think I’m arrogant, cold and aloof
132 - I blame the phenotype and #129
133 - I was a volunteer on a kibbutz in Israel
134 - It wasn’t such a good time
135 - But I loved it when I lived there w Uzi years later
136 - I miss the way the kibbutz smells every day
137 - Though I can’t bear to think abt Israel now
138 - I’m afraid I will never feel the same way abt it again
139 - I’m even more afraid I might
140 - I milked for 2 months w a broken wrist
141 - I also got my right boob caught up in the suction cup repeatedly, didn't hurt
142 - I would have a hard time liking Israelis by any other name
143 - I think Jerusalem is the beginning, the middle and the end
144 - Hebrew is the sexiest language ever, followed by Spanish (from Spain), Norwegian and Dutch
145 - I can speak French but it annoys the hell out of me
146 - My brain and I sometimes think I speak far too many languages
147 - And yet my Hebrew still sucks rock
148 - I’m a language snob and refuse to read a translated book
149 - I am a rabid Anglophile
150 - I love posh British accents, and the South African one ('Honolulu' = weak knees)
151 - I have yet to meet a Boer I found even remotely sane
152 - (I was a volunteer on a kibbutz in Israel)
153 - I absolutely don’t know how to flirt
154 - If I were a man, I’d probably not have kissed anyone yet
155 - I find swingers and ménages à trois very very bizarre
156 - And I don’t care all that much abt other people’s sex lives
157 - I am not very interested in South America - or Asia
158 - Especially now
159 - But I want to visit Australia and most of all Africa very very much
160 - And I would go to Tibet and Nepal
161 - I know yoga and meditation would be good for me
162 - It’d help me get my shit together
163 - But I can’t get my shit together enough to be bothered
164 - I’m watching Michael Bublé’s “Feeling Good” clip bcs it’s simply hot
165 - Much to my surprise, so is Horatio Caine
166 - Porties give the best hugs
167 - I love hugging and touching and limb-tangling and around-wrapping
168 - I’d have a hard time being with a man who didn’t
169 - I think sex is funny
170 - I think laughter in bed is mandatory
171 - People often tell me secrets, rather dark ones at that
172 - I never tell
173 - They haunt me at times
174 - I wish I could open a branch of the RSPCA here in Portugal
175 - I will certainly do pro bono work
176 - I believe every one should
177 - I believe I will shut up now

28 Comments:

At 23/3/05 01:15, Blogger Dale said...

:-)

01 - This made me laugh
02 - a lot.

 
At 23/3/05 08:56, Blogger brooksba said...

Johnny,

I loved this post. I really liked 84-86. That's great. I am also looking forward to witnessing #94.

I can't wait until next month!

This was a lot of fun. I would be happy to see even more!

Hugs!

Beth

 
At 23/3/05 09:07, Blogger Udge said...

What a fascinating list. Consider yourself hugged.

 
At 23/3/05 14:55, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do people flinch when they see you?

Where are you from originally?

Why Portugal?

 
At 23/3/05 15:10, Blogger Lioness said...

Anon: bcs I have psoriasis, and Portugal bcs I'm a Portie, born here and now back in the country.

 
At 23/3/05 17:41, Blogger Lioness said...

Noorster, get a hold of The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay, you will LOVE it.
Dale, good! [You laughed? Really?]
Beth, it only lasts a while bcs I always start laughing, but I'll, give it my best shot
Udge, welcome and danke fuer's umarmen! Ganz unerwartet war das.
Lisa, you did, no worries. Glad you liked it. DO ONE TOO!

But look here, you lot, don't start thinking that I MUST be hugged all the time! I meant that I like it, not that it's a daily necessity.

 
At 23/3/05 19:06, Blogger Udge said...

So where did you pick up your brill English? (and german, and portuguese, and ...?)

 
At 24/3/05 03:32, Blogger Lord Chimmy said...

I don't even think I know 177 things about myself.

And, because I am an idiot is brill a truncated version of brillaint or are you referring to a fish when you say that?

 
At 24/3/05 04:56, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Sorry, even though you numbered 177 I saw quite a few that were either comments on the previouse ones or just duplications, so you are really down to 83. But at least it's a good start - lots more that I ever listed. Good work.

 
At 24/3/05 12:40, Blogger Lioness said...

U: Portuguese bcs it's mother language, German bcs I was an exchange student there, French and English we learn at school, Spanish through border difusion I suppose and some hardly proficient Hebrew.

LC: Yes, bril = brilliant, no fish involved. Don't even know how you got that notion!

 
At 24/3/05 21:02, Blogger Serialangel said...

Oh, luscious. My favourite was the one about your right boob getting stuck in a cow suction's cup. Mucha laughter. I think I'll try this out tomoz... :)
Oh, and I'm not from Portugal but I do proper hugs so - *hugs*

 
At 24/3/05 21:53, Blogger Kristin said...

Love your list...and I discovered we have a lot in common.

 
At 24/3/05 22:00, Blogger Lioness said...

K, like what? tell me the numbers!

 
At 24/3/05 23:37, Blogger Amyesq said...

I am so glad I found you! Great stuff! We have much alike - anxiety, insomnia,(comes and goes, the poor student life for many, many years, LOVING men in kilts, but I wish I were simply gorgeous like you. For some reason I thought you were Israeli. Now I got the story straight.

 
At 25/3/05 04:03, Blogger Diana said...

OK, damn you, I am now officially leaving a comment, which ends my lazy lurker status. Now you will never get rid of me and I will be an embarassment on your otherwise cool comments. And, yes, I did read all 177 items. I will then one-up-you and blogroll you as soon as I get up the energy. So hah! (Grumble, Grumble) And kisses. I have more items in common with you than not. That should scare both of us.For example, we are 18 for 18 on items 8-25. The fact that I just wrote that last sentence makes me the more uncool of the 2 of us as obviously I didn't grow out of it (#12).

 
At 25/3/05 11:48, Blogger Lioness said...

A-HA! D., for someone who ASKS for comments in your first post, keepinkg a lurker status is rather... oh well, it had me laughing! I'm so happy you delurked, I am! 8-25, for real? And more? Bril! Now there's 2 of us, don't tell! ;)

B., I bet it would, yes. I LOVE these lists and feel everyone should be OBLIGATED to write one. My newest obsession. What would you NEVER do?

 
At 26/3/05 06:22, Blogger Dale said...

Once upon a time, Lioness, you wondered aloud why no one ever asked why you posted in English. The reason, of course, is that we all assumed that English is your native tongue. The question I (like Anon) would have asked was, "how do you come to be in Portugal?"

(But I lurked long enough to figure it out. The *only* giveaway is that you mix English and American slang, but that just made me think you spent formative years in both countries. I would never ever have guessed that English wasn't your first language.)

 
At 26/3/05 13:39, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Just a question, your last comment to Diana, when you said there's 2 of us, don't tell. Were you referring to this poem?

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
by Emily Dickinson

I'm Nobody! Who are you?
Are you—Nobody—Too?
Then there's a pair of us!
Don't tell! they'd advertise—you know!

How dreary—to be—Somebody!
How public—like a Frog—
To tell one's name—the livelong June—
To an admiring Bog!

I always liked that poem. Except for the part about frogs being dreary.

Anyway, I love this and think I'll have to do something like it. And I can't wait until next month woman because I am going to hug you like there is no tomorrow. Unless you beat me about the shoulders with your purse. Then I'll stop.

Ciao, bella! (How do you say goodbye beauty in Portuguese?)

 
At 26/3/05 15:24, Blogger Lioness said...

Adeus, linda! (Ah-deh-oosh, leendah)

Yes I was, aren't we all so smart! :DDD There shall be no purse beating, let the rib bruising begin! And yes, do your own list, they're absolutely fabulous!

 
At 26/3/05 16:10, Blogger Dale said...

Carpe, that last line though is a misprint. What Dickinson actually wrote was

"To an admiring blog."

(But the word was rare then and the typesetters misread it.)

 
At 26/3/05 16:14, Blogger Lioness said...

Dale, :DDDD! Do you know, I thought of that when I read the whole poem just now. Blogger's spellcheck isn't familiar w the word either, isn't it daft?

And yes, sadly American slang has been cropping up, we're surrounded, I can't fight it. But I'll go kicking into the night.

 
At 26/3/05 19:38, Blogger paulmonster said...

Whoa, hold up there o erudite ones,

What's So Bad About American Slang?

'kicking into the night' indeed. American English is rich and vivid, even if it may be sort of heavy-handed and unwieldy at times. But we've got some damn fine insults in our lexicon, which I can certainly trot out for your edification. Much, much better than any of those stuck up English ass-hats with their underwhelming 'dry wit'.

All this to say that you have much to be proud of, Lioness--ESPECIALLY your burgeoning skill with the glorious American tongue.

Anyone want a piece of this?

God Save the Queen,

 
At 26/3/05 19:46, Blogger Lioness said...

Was that a vocative?? Way cool!

Chill, I do like my carefully (HA!) selected American slang a lot.

Peace dawg.

 
At 26/3/05 19:47, Blogger Lioness said...

PS - you're HILARIOUS!

 
At 27/3/05 05:25, Blogger Dale said...

:-)

I'm with the Monster on this one. I like almost all slang -- it's where you can watch how languages mutate; it's born of the same restless urge to say it new that makes people write poetry. It only gets tiresome when it's endlessly repeated. (But doesn't anything?)

 
At 27/3/05 18:52, Blogger Lioness said...

"Bril"?? WTH, why do I keep doing that? BrilL! BRILL!

BRILLLL!!!!

Gah.

 
At 28/3/05 00:38, Blogger DeadBug said...

Wonderful to know these 100-odd things about you.

I can't sleep without reading, no matter how tired and no matter the time of night. And books with happy endings can keep me up all night.

--Bugs

 
At 28/3/05 06:39, Blogger WBS said...

I don't know how you're so honest with yourself and with us. It's scary as hell -- yasher koach.

Yes to 13, 33, 35&36, 59, 61, 63&64, 68, 87, 108-110, 116, 119, 163

50 - Me too, but no one knows (or cares)

77 - Me too! I don't understand how I get dirty over a twenty four hour period without doing much. But, weirdly, I enjoy washing my hair.

 

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