Sunday, October 29, 2006

This old blog has snuffed it, I'm afraid,

This is where you'll find me now.

Thursday, October 19, 2006


... you're dead.

Hi, My name is Uzi Saghi and I was hit by a tidal wave.

Which is a pity, bcs today you would have been 30 years old. I celebrated my 30th with you remember? You and your brothers threw my chair in the air, as Jews are wont to. You wore a black turtleneck and a ponytail and looked absolutely smashing, as you were wont to. You didn't even own a jumper when we first met and all of a sudden there you were, looking terribly European.

It is your birthday today and I think that is why my words have gone. I haven't had a lot to say in a nlong, long while. If I had words, I'd have to use them to talk abt you, and to tell people how I hoped I would be brave enough to face your photos this year so I could scan them, and show the world how absolutely beautiful you were, face of an archangel and the soul to match. I thought I might send them to your mum as well.

I cannot bear to look at them yet, I simply cannot bear to.

You would have been 30 years old, and now you are, what? Where? They have therapy on earth, which is a good thing bcs this little death of yours it doesn't seem to be getting any easier to accept. If anything, the feeling of unrealitty, of surreality has increased. Sadly, I should have been in therapy before your death, not sought it after it, for I flee and isolate myself when reality just doesn't live up to its expectations so I tend to only visit my psychiatrist once in a very irregular while. Not conducive to a greater well being but I am too weary to care.

Remember how your mum once gently urged me to not rely on my lazy ovaries to ensure I'd not get pregnant? It was a very horrifying moment, only surpassed by your sister explaining to your mum and I, using your penis as an example, how to apply one of those penile fishing flies or something or other we'd just come across in a magaine. Your mum was just so worried I'd get pregnant (ha!) and we'd have a baby (ha!) and your life woudl be ruined (heheeeeeee!). I suppose we all wish your life had been ruined, yes? It'd make missing you easier to bear.

Happy fucking birthday.


And look at what lovely Cat wrote. They share a birthday. She remembers.


Friday, October 13, 2006


NO NO NO NO NO! Not fair, not fair, not fucking fair! I am so mad, so mad, so so SOOOOOOO mad. Bloody hell, they don't deserve this, they do NOT deserve this.


And Uzi, Uzi would turn 30 in 6 days.

Fuck October.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


It's been quite a while hasn't it. Sorry abt that, it's so unlike me to not write for so long. I finished exams and started classes right away and classes, well, they are exhilarating, I think I might just have some fun this year. But the schedule is a bit mad and what with the bloody office organising (almost finished, don't want to post pics till I have the rug in) and my post-27-exams crash I basically come home and crawl into bed almost immediately, falling asleep entirely too early and waking up entirely too early as well. I have been waking up on my own at around 6.30 every morning for the past fortnight. I am tired all the time, not desperate-tired like during exams, just tired from doing a lot of new, big things at once. I barely check my mail these days and the same goes for blogs, I hope I will become used to this new life soon and my body will let me be more awake soon, I want to be able to see how you're doing again. Tired and hungry all the time gets old fast - and yes, am eating like a beast these days as well, seems I can never get enough, oy vey the arse. As I said, hope this changes soon.

I'm off to Barcelona for a few days, have never been there so am quite excited. Well, quite is a bit of an exaggeration since I am too knackered to muster a proper degree of excitement. But I've always thought I'd love Barcelona. Actually, have always thought a priori that I'd be mad abt Sushi, Barcelona and Boston. Was right abt the sushi, we'll see abt the rest.

An easy fast for those of you who'll need it and everyone, have a brilliant week.