Monday, September 27, 2004

My soul has been raped.

I am listening to the gekko that rules us all say "I believe in freedom, I believe that freedom can change lives." WHO WRITES HIS SPEECHES??? The man is a complete idiot! THE MAN IS AN IDIOT!!! THE MAN IS A FLAWED STEPFORD ADVERTISEMENT! I LOATHE, I ABSOLUTELY LOATHE THIS ACEPHALUS WANKER! And I am bloody sure he will win again, God help us all.


I did something really mind-blowingly stupid. I found some site with news re kidnapping in Iraq. If you have a fragile constitution, now would be the time to stop reading. They had a photo I couldn't really understand so I clicked on the link because I thought there'd be some text too. Then I got distracted while waiting for it to download and that is why, again, I didn't immediatly realise what I was looking at. Then I froze in horror and by the time I snapped out of my trance and slammed the laptop shut it was far too late, I'd already seen too much.

It was the actual footage of the beheading of a hostage. I burst into tears and for a long while thought I would vomit. I will never be able to forget what I unwittingly saw and heard (the photo, incidentally, was of a headless body. With the angle, the bad resolution and my survival-enabling mind block, of course I couldn't understand it. Which is too bad because it would have spared me, if i had.). I will not even go into how obscene I think it is, and disrespectful for the dead and their families, and how dangerous to have that kind of link without a cautionary note where any kid can find it. I will not rant about the news fuckers that subject family and friends to such a vision from hell. As I said in an earlier post, I've learnt a lot about despicable, incomprehensible violence and that is all the more reason I do not want to learn anything further if I can help it. I will tell you one VERY graphic fact about it because I feel it is important that it is known. BE WARNED. I had heard on the news often enough that hostages were beheaded. To me, this presented an image of swiftness, some bottom-feeding rat with a long type of sword, in one fluid motion. Of course we don't know much about the persistence of actual sensibility in such a case but at least it was over in a second, I thought. AGAIN, now would be the time to stop reading.

Well, no. They are not beheaded. That is, they will eventually be beheaded in the sense that their body and head will at some point become separated. But what actually happens is - LAST WARNING - their throat is cut, or more accurately, sawed, back and forth motion, back and forth, back and forth. Skin, tendons, oesophagus, windpipe. Then the brave slaughterer steps aside and watches the hostage slowly die, writhing. I haven't read anything about it but I can tell you how the hostage finally dies. He drowns in his own blood, fully conscious. I know this because you can hear him wheezing and the blood is gushing and he's lying on his back, and his windpipe has been severed.
Of course it all needs to be captured on camera. Of course the death must be a terrible one. A nice clean shot to the head would be too anti-climatic, not juicy enough. Not nearly enough pain. You wouldn't be able to fully appreciate how brave and saintly the kidnappers are (). If you want to know what motivates the killers, go here. It's not gory, no graphic details. Just the reasons for it. I found the link on this blog.

Just so you know. Just so you don't get so used to hearing about hostages dying because so many do that it stops mattering. Just so you remember they know they are going to die, and how. Just so you know there's nothing fast and peaceful about it. Just so you know how worthy the killers' cause is and what they aim to accomplish.

I'm against the death penalty but there are so many ways to die, wouldn't you say? So, if there is justice they will die a slow, agonising death too some day, hopefully soon. And more importantly, they will be made to know, before they actually die, that they are CONDEMNED. And they will be given plenty of time to think about it. And when they die, I hope there's a special place for an-humans like these, and, considering their religious believes, I hope they get to spend the rest of eternity (and they'll remember everything about their former life - for lack of a better word) eating pork and every time they open what passes for their mouths to protest, Hebrew will gush forth, in brachah form. And the huris? Forget about the huris, they will be gay American men, scarcely clad, a whole pride parade of them. And there shall be sex, gay sex, of course, loads of it AND THEY WILL ENJOY IT, oy vey, and the alcohol too. Oh, and because this is a place outside of the space-time continuum, every other 10 min of their non-lives they will experience the terror, the agony, the desperate hope for a miracle that every single one of their victims felt. And the grief of the people that loved them. AMPLIFIED. Obviously, the other 10 min will be consumed with the hope that this will have been the last time. But it won't have been, of course it won't have been, and this will go on forever and ever and ever, long after time and space cease to exist. AND I FEEL SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER NOW! I may feel guilty at some point about wishing them this but I sincerely don't think so. There's hope for me yet.

I have nothing against Islam itself or the koran. Sheik Munir in Lisbon went to the re-opening of one of Lisbon's two synagogues (a sheik is a religious leader). It gave me hope (the mosque is actually welcoming of strangers who feel curious, even if they don't share their faith). It's this sort of low-life cowardly fuckers' interpretation of the koran and Islam that causes my hairs to stand on end. Some day I'll post about why I agree with France forbidding female students to wear head scarves. I used to be naive and be for it. It's not the scarves, really. It's the mentality that comes with it AND THE REST. It's a package deal. And there's at least one Arab that agrees with me. It's a LAY country, motherfuckers. Check up the meaning of the word.
This is our world. I feel sick.

On the telly now: "The canonisation of the three little shepperds of Fátima is underway." You'd have to be Portuguese to understand this but ask me again why I so often feel not only ashamed of the world, but also of my very own country.

(I can tell you I miss the old days when there was not one political word to be found in my blog. Cabbages seem to have it so much easier. But I always seem to catch up with myself no matter what.)

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At 27/9/04 22:02, Blogger brooksba said...

I am so sorry you ended up seeing the video. It does sadden me to hear about hostages and the touture they are enduring.

You are right, it is important to know what is going on and not become desensitized to the violence. The events are not just something on T.V., they are happening to real people.

The images I've seen have not been as graphic, but they still pain me when they are presented. I try to hold onto the images of human bravery and persistence. I try to hold onto hope.

The pictures you posted before of the East Timorese smiling are something I hold onto, knowing there is a light on the other side. I hope we get there as quickly as possible. No more suffering should happen, there is no reason for it. No reason that justifies the means.

At 27/9/04 23:13, Blogger Marg said...

remember that american Nick something or other? Yeah, it's depressing... I don't even remember his name. I saw the video of his behedding. I needed to feel that the deaths were real... I cried my eyes out, and felt sick, and angry, and sad sad sad. But I wanted to understand that a man had DIED and that it wasn't "oops, they did it again" those banalizations kill me (bad choice of words) and it becomes such a common thing that it doesn't affect me. So I forced myself to watch the beheading. I'll never do that again. It was sick sick sick.

Anyhow... about the dragons:

I am a A Bronze Dragon!

Hey, I took the online Inner Dragon quiz and
found out I am a Bronze Dragon on the inside.

In the war between good and evil, Bronze Dragons take the side of the
noble and good....
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your
inner dragon walks a fine line between Law and Chaos....
As far as magical tendancies, a Bronze Dragon's nature does not lend
itself well to the ways of Magic....
During combat situations, a true Bronze Dragon prefers to defeat
opponents by the use of spells and other tactics....
The inquisitive bronze dragons live along the beaches and shores of
the remote islands. The Bronze Cliffs house many lairs, with open
portals looking out upon the churning sea high up stone face, and
entrances located deep below the surface of the water. No matter their
age, bronze dragons tend to be the most cheerful and good-natured of
They love the simple challenges of riddles and harmless contests, and
often number master riddlers among their demihuman vassals. They are
fascinated by warfare in all its forms, eagerly looking for just
causes to champion with their armies of dragons and demihumans.'
Bronze hatchlings have yellow scales tinged with green. Only a hint of
bronze shines upon these overlapping plates. This color deepens as the
dragon ages, slowly turning to a rich bronze tone that darkens as the
centuries pass. Bronze Dragons have a deep and abiding love for the
sea and its good creatures, while they enjoy feasting on aquatic plant
and sharks. Dragon lords especially appreciate gifts of pearls, which
they consider to be delicacies.
This Dragons favorite elements are: Bronze, Pearls, and Nobility


At 28/9/04 05:59, Blogger peaches said...

ostriches and indeed cabbages maybe have it easier, but for the sake of our world I hope you keep your eyes open and stay awake, and others join you. I am sorry about the gorry site you found but it was good to me that it revulsed you. I am fearful when People are numb, when they can look upon this stuff and turn away uneffected.

At 28/9/04 13:08, Blogger The Lioness said...

Marg, dahling, was that a PhD thesis you just wrote??? The comment that wouldn't quit! Wow! A deep and abiding love for the sea and its creatures AND feasting on sharks??? What are sharks, airborn? Go pick on someone your own size and not endangered!

Peaches, do make your blog public! NOT FAIR!

At 28/9/04 20:18, Blogger Marg said...

lol, I didn't write all that crazy dragon stuff =S hehe... that was the link you told me to follow. Amusing really =P =) I only wrote the bit about the decapitation *shiver*

At 28/9/04 20:31, Blogger The Lioness said...

I realise that. I was talking abt the length of it.

At 28/9/04 23:52, Blogger Marg said...

sorry. I... can... be... a... bit... slow... at... times...............


At 2/10/04 16:45, Blogger CarpeDM said...

I understand exactly what you meant with your title "My soul has been raped." I feel like that everytime I turn on the news. After 9/11, when all the news stations were playing constant coverage of Ground Zero, it got to the point that I would turn the television on, burst into tears, and turn the television off again.

I don't understand War. I don't get it. I was looking through a catalog from the Syracruse Cultural Workers at all of these different posters they had and it makes you think about why do we do this? There was one that said something along the lines of "I don't understand why we kill people to tell them it's wrong to kill people." There were all these posters about how we're not fighting because we want to liberate Iraq, we need the oil. Seriously, do we all need to have SUV's? Maybe we could start carpooling or something.

Anyway, I really enjoy reading your blog because you point out things that I've missed because I'm trying not to pay attention but you do it in away that makes me think and mourn for the dead, instead of the blase reporting that you get. Oh, yes, more people died in Iraq today. Let's talk about the weather. So, thank you for your honest reactions and posts. I appreciate it.

At 2/10/04 21:31, Blogger The Lioness said...

DM - thanks. I'm glad you are able to get something from them. But honestly I do it because I can't not do it. I've tried. Anyway, nothing says purge like a post.

At 4/10/04 20:57, Blogger D said...


First of all, very sorry you witnessed the horrific images. I am glad though there are people who still feel such revulsion AND can put it to words the way you did. Gentle soul.
Me, it just makes angry beyond words. Me not so gentle :b

Also, thx for linking to my blog ;) You beat me to it, had I known you exist, I would have linked to you much much earlier. Keep fighting the good fight.

At 23/10/04 19:31, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

I am sorry that you saw this. I have seen two of them, one was intentional and the other was not. But I was no less horrified either time. It is a terrible thing.


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