Thursday, September 16, 2004

Sex vs narcosis vs I WILL ONE DAY STAB THIS BLOODY INSOMNIA AND WATCH IT SLOWLY BLEED TO DEATH!


Thank you, thank you, thank you! Sex and the City is back on TV!!! (If she doesn't end up with lovely, edible Mr. Big I'll be royally pissed off. If she ends up with that furniture tosser it's just plain disgusting.) (Can anyone tell me - gently?)

Now I have the perfect excuse to stuff my Anesthaesiology books for a while. Sex and the City is back, surely no exam can top that.

Now I have the perfect excuse to stuff my Anesthaesiology books for a while. Sex and the City is back, surely no exam can top that.

UPDATE - it is with great pleasure that I present to you the perfect way to pass an exam:

1 - First you take the blasted insomnia that has loyally accompanied you to every continent you ever traveled to. Digressing:

2 - You bless the feeling that comes from having your regular insomnia mixed up with the jetlag arising from traveling Tel Aviv-Brussels-Milwakee-LA-Maui, loads of waiting in between, and did you fucking know it takes 6 hours, SIX, to fly this last part alone all over the bloody ocean, and did you know you lose a day in the process, if you leave on the 7th you land on the 9th and how can that not destroy whatever synapses were left standing even if you do retrieve it on the way back but by then you just want to be put out of your misery, though you appreciate the fact that you couldn't very well kill yourself during oh so important a congress because the silverback males whose papers you've had to digest are displaying their mating skills all over the island in a manner that keeps your ethological fingers scribbling demented notes - these are the fucking silverbacks and you may take that literally and oh Prof. RS next time you may want to choose a lady with not so pitted a thigh and advise her to at least not parade herself scarcely clad in the lobby, some of us have to not puke - and you have become too mental to think clearly and don't have any weapons and anyway you are increasingly convinced the suffering alone will kill you but in an inexplicable manner you survive and land in Israel and you can smell your bed beckoning and being stopped by the Israeli customs police when you were so close to your bed, YOUR BED, is simply too much, granted you look demented, you probably re-define demented, but YOU DON'T FUCKING DO DRUGS, NOT EVEN HASH, and you're so tired your bottom lip starts quivering because you have these wankers bullying you and threatening to open your luggage and you absolutely don't want to have Israeli Security opening your luggage because they'll mess it up and you'll never get it closed again and you'll have tampons all over the floor AGAIN plus the whole thing will take hours, HOURS, so you keep a stiff upper lip - there's no fucking way they'll see you cry, give them your most withering stare, lose your tremper and demand, DEMAND to see their supervisor because they may be in charge of security and rightly so but they have no bloody right to be rude, DON'T THEY TEACH YOU ANYTHING AND GO AHEAD AND OPEN THE STUPID SUITCASE SEE IF I CARE BUT WHATEVER YOU DO DO IT NOW BECAUSE I'M TIRED AND I WANT TO SIT DOWN AND I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR NOW! and they somehow let you go and you waited until you'd reached your best friend then-boyfriend to burst into tears and sort of sobbed intermittently all the way to the kibbutz and everything is a blur after that although you still remember the general feeling of I'm-losing-my-mind permeating the following week and this is why you never really had the opportunity to enjoy Ha-wa-ii and you have a feeling the 3 hours spent going down that stupid, freezing volcano and then crawling back up again didn't much help either and DON'T EVEN MENTION THE BLOODY WHALES YOU NEVER REALLY GOT TO SEE!

3 - Returning to matter at hand: you must study, obviously. Resolutely.

4 - The resolution bit is of the utmost importance when studying Anesthaesiology, disbelievers are hereby formally invited to do some researching. On the other hand, I can now tell you loads about the dangers of malignant hypothermia in susceptible pigs (pigs are finnicky little buggers, who'd have thought) and did you know that etorphin can cause respiratory depressions in wild animals.

5 - You set your mobile alarm. You set your landline alarm. You stare at the clock oh bloody hell 5.30 am already, exam at 9 am, not to worry you'll wake up - because not only are you a FUCKING INSOMNIAC you also WAKE UP with your heart racing whenever the nextdoor neighbour so much as SNEEZES. (Though bizarrely enough you never seem to be able to whenever you truly must. Hence the resorting to double alarms and occasionally parents and/or friends, and on one sadly memorable occasion, unbeknownst to you, the mother of a colleague but you manage to no longer blush when you think about it.)

6 - You wake up somewhat refreshed but with a start at 11 am, having managed to turn off the mobile alarm - to be expected - and to have buried your landline under a pillow in the living-room before going to bed in the best Freudian slip manner that is so typical of you with the result that you not only missed the exam but also managed to scare the living daylights off a colleague who spent the 15 min before and the 20 min after ringing you uninterruptedly - to no avail, in case it wasn't clear enough - because she was convinced that something bad had happened to you.

7 - It had, only it was of the type that leaves your virtue intact.

8 - I WILL ONE DAY STAB THIS BLOODY INSOMNIA AND WATCH IT SLOWLY BLEED TO DEATH! And there will be CACKLING too.

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4 Comments:

At 20/9/04 16:12, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Wow.

I'm glad I read the update. I'm a little scared. But hope you will be able to sleep soon.

 
At 23/9/04 19:41, Blogger Serialangel said...

I think you've taken residence in my brain. Darn, well I can't control them all.

 
At 23/9/04 21:51, Blogger The Lioness said...

That's maggy, dahling, same happened to me! ;D

 
At 5/10/04 05:42, Blogger Andrea said...

Well said.

#5 is my favorite. No matter how well you know you're not going to sleep anyways, you set all of your alarms, because the one time you don't...

 

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