Tuesday, February 15, 2005

What I can still pray for

I want for it not to be possible for his mother to see him bcs she wants to, God help her. I want for the casket to be absolutely sealed for health reasons. No one needs that image to be the last one.

I want him not to have suffered at all. I want for it to have been quick and painless. We know nothing except he was identified through his fingerprints. No autopsy results yet. I could accept water in the lungs if I knew he'd been knocked unconscious before but we can't know that. I could pray for the autopsy to reveal huge brain trauma pre-mortem. But it's been a month and a half and he was apparently found very far away from the place where they were supposed to be, autopsies don't perform miracles and can only tell you so much, especially after all this time in extreme heat. So the best scenario is no water in the lungs and a broken neck.

I am praying that my Tig died ofg a brioken neck bcs that is the best I ccan wish for him, and it's killing me.



At 15/2/05 19:44, Blogger brooksba said...


I am so sorry. I hope if news is revealed about the autopsy that it was painless. I'm still thinking about you. Hugs and love to you.


At 16/2/05 01:16, Blogger Dale said...

Oh, hon. I know this part too. Sending lots of love. Just lots of love.

At 16/2/05 03:39, Blogger twisteddragonfly said...

Someone once told me our lives are not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. Hope you have many many good memories that will leave you breathless. I'm so sorry for you. I wish I could walk you through all the things you are about to go through the next few days. Been there myself. You are in my thoughts.

At 16/2/05 17:06, Blogger La Foi said...

Ah... the sadness of finality. So different, but no easier, than the anxiety of not knowing. I am very sorry, and I hope there is someone or something out there that can give you comfort.

When my family suffered a loss some years ago, our friends brought over large jars of homemade soup, and we ate that all week without really talking, and somehow it helped.

So here: I send you virtual soup. Nothing like the real thing but the best I can do.

At 16/2/05 20:27, Blogger Noorster said...

Wish I believed in God (or, alternatively, G-d) and could pray. Wish I could do something other than obsessively following your blog.
All I can offer is my attention.

At 17/2/05 10:59, Blogger Cori said...

My thoughts are with you.

At 17/2/05 15:01, Blogger annebrev said...

Thinking of you, Lioness. Thinking hard.. and hoping that makes a small difference. I'm just so sorry.


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