Monday, April 17, 2006

Cooter-wary

Went in for my post D&C check up at the public hospital, all is well. I also didn't pay for this one bcs, even though I am no longer pregnant, I am recently miscarried enough that I am still exempt from paying, as all pregnant women are. Losely translated, I suppose this means I am hanging to the sisterhood by a pubic hair and not the sort that gives your nether regions that tight, fluffy, composed look. No, rather the appalingly long sort that your elderly Aunt Jane is bound to find imbedded in the soap while visiting you oh dear. That sort of pubic hair.

As for my entrails, uterus back to normal size, no pain, cervix firmly closed, slightly bloody mucus but hardly any bleeding left (more like a bit of spotting really, almost non-existent). Also, there was a med student there this time who couldn't stop staring at my knees. I am a bit sorry I didn't do pointing motions while enunciating clearly Cooter WITHIN. Maybe he simply could not believe his luck, Ob/Gyn AND Dermatology. Hope he has a blog. Ha, hope I find it.

The dr. said I need to take some iron tablets and need no more antibiotics or anti-inflammatories (we will see abt these last ones, Saturday was rough). She also said there can be no shagging for a whole month since I had to have a D&C. Which surprised me.

DEAR BARREN BITCHES/MEDICAL READERSHIP:

Let's have an academic discussion, shall we? Literally at that bcs I am too busy peeling myself off the floor every day to even contemplate sex [unless it's like in the monkey and the pachiderm joke], but. BUT. I must admit I was a bit thrown. No man is a human-elephant hybrid. [Taking a brief moment to thank mother nature for this fortunate state of affairs] My uterus lies behind a thoroughly inaccessible cervix, yes? I should expect no sex till all symptoms are gone and I am fully healed (oh and sleeping, sleep would be good), let's say 2 weeks - but 4? What am I missing, have I led a too sheltered life? Or, on the contrary, does she think I am the lithe guru little Thai women flock to with their pingpong balls and tamed doves for further enlightenment on All The Things You Never Dreamt But Nevermind, The Tourists Will Never Forget It?

Ye Gods. Nu?


----------------------

Allrighty! Have given up my hormones, am thoroughly fed up w having them. Have proclaimed moratorium. As of now, am the proud owner of none, YES I AM. This morning after seeing the dr. I went to buy some groceries. After a while I couldn't stand it anymore so I came back w only half the things I wanted. I am craving Mexican food these days (try and understand my having cravings now, hysterical, yes) but was unconcerned bcs we have Uriad beans (or something) and they're black, albeit tiny, so they'd do. Besides, aren't the spices the thing that gives it the ethnic flavour? Ok then. I didn't have much for lunch bcs I couldn't eat, was slightly queasy due to lack of sleep, [NEEDED CENSORING, SORRY ABT THAT!]

Yesterday I cried watching V for Vendetta.

And just now? Just now I went into the Haagen-Dazs site so I could check the spelling and found out you lot have BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE ice-cream and we do not, and it will take ages till we get it here, and I am so fucking unhappy over that I could say I could cry but that'd have a literary effect only if I weren't already.

*sigh*

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15 Comments:

At 17/4/06 16:42, Blogger Hoping said...

I had a D&C almost 4 weeks ago now and my doc told me to have "pelvic rest" for 2 weeks and at my 3 week follow up appointment she said everything was great and I was on my way.
Obviously our 2 pregnancies and D&C's were not the same so there could be many reasons for the 4 week wait.

 
At 17/4/06 17:27, Anonymous jeanette1ca said...

A doctor many years ago told me he always says 4 weeks, because he figures couples will only wait half the time he tells them. So if he said 2 weeks, they would only wait one, which he didn't think was enough. And of course, it does depend on your own body and how fast it heals, etc.

 
At 17/4/06 22:50, Anonymous Kath said...

My dear brave Lioness, I just got back -- am very tired and grimy -- but I had to check in. I was so sorry to hear of your awful, awful hospital experiences and the aftermath. How I feel for you. I can't tell you how often you were in my thoughts these past five days.

More when I'm awake again...

Oh -- four weeks is a bit excessive. My D&Cs were always followed by the two-week rule. It's probably got to do with your infection?

Boa noite for now, and sweeter dreams. PS Hormones suck, don't they?

 
At 17/4/06 23:14, Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

Okay, here's my advice.

You can have sex after a week if you feel like it - but no spermicide or unprotected. Condoms only. After two weeks you can use whatever you used to (or didn't do, which seems to have been the case).

Some doctors say that you can do it once the bleeding stops, but my bleeding went on for four or five weeks each time.

This is controversial, but I think my OB is very liberal in this case...

 
At 17/4/06 23:29, Blogger brooksba said...

Yeah, knowledge about the time to wait before having sex is something I don't have.

If it was feasible, I'd ship you a crate of blueberry cheesecake ice cream. You deserve it. Next time I talk to my mom, I'll ask her for a great ice cream recipe and if she can make it a blueberry cheesecake one.

Still thinking of you often. Lots of love!

 
At 18/4/06 03:26, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Oh, rest. We've got lots of different stuff here - ColdStone Creamery mixes it after you pick, so you can get it any way you want.

 
At 18/4/06 04:11, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Blueberry Cheesecake ice cream? Where? I haven't found it. But think of it this way, it is just one more reason for you to come and visit us. Don't you think?

Love you lots.

 
At 18/4/06 10:08, Blogger Ana said...

Well, hubby and I went to Cuba 3 days after my second D&C that month. If someone had told us we couldn't have sex, I'm not so sure he would've wanted to go.
Seriously though, I think 4 weeks is a bit too much really.

Blueberry Cheesecake? Why did you have to say that? Maybe if we ask everyone we know to call Haagen Dazs and demand they get it...

 
At 18/4/06 18:20, Blogger Serialangel said...

London doesn't have blueberry ice-cream either, although we all know it is the cleanser of all bad things. Maybe you should try some fruit salad and cream (fresh bananas and strawberries and kiwis on a white plate and a touch of double cream.)

Wish I could help more, I know little about sex or D&Cs or medical stuff. I offer my love! Thinking of you love! Betty x

 
At 18/4/06 21:28, Blogger Nancy said...

I think the doc just wants to make sure you do not get pregnant again. Are you on "the pill"? He may want you to wait that long so it can be in full affect.

Also...errruhhmm..I don't know about you, but if done properly?

It can trigger some contractions, and not just of the vaginal wall...

I'm just say'n

 
At 18/4/06 23:33, Blogger cat said...

Been away... too long it seems. So deeply feeling all your pain.

Cry every time you need to, cry cry cry and then cry some more. It heals, its needed.

Out here sending you some love and wishing that you never ever had to join the club.

 
At 19/4/06 13:55, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Johnny, I do hope that elephants have cervixes, too. Otherwise, wouldn't the fellas run the risk of getting stuck up there? Of course, if I were an elephant, that would be MY luck, finally meet the right guy and get him stuck forever in my twat.

*smooches*

--Soper

 
At 20/4/06 07:56, Blogger Jen P said...

Wait. I was reading this article about how hard it is to inseminate elephants and how they had to get this specialist in from Duke University to educate the zoo keepers on elephant cervix intricasies. Seems they weren't inseminating high enough.

Which made me burst out laughing because dude -- that poor elephant -- she had like 6 people with their hands up there. Man. That is exactly how I have felt in the past.

And then it made me scared to be born as an elephant one day because man, that Bull Elephant must be really hung. Scary shit.

Anyways, the hormones are perfectly normal. And they're insane and crazy and nothing makes sense.

I was told no sex for 2 weeks post D&C to allow for normal cervix realignment and then to do with whatever I would like. The month might include an emotional allowance as well. After my 2nd m/c I couldn't think of sex for weeks.

I hope you're doing ok.

 
At 22/4/06 17:42, Blogger Cat, Galloping said...

My understanding is that you want the cervix to be closed before you do, to prevent risk of infection. When you stop bleeding, you'll know the cervix is closed-- it's different for everyone.

I'm sorry this happened. And sorry to be so late in commenting.

 
At 24/4/06 15:05, Blogger chris said...

I'm sorry you had to go through this.

Take care.

 

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