Tuesday, October 19, 2004

An almost CHICK post (oh and I'm getting drunk tonight)

I bought one KILLER black jacket, waist tucked in, amazing material, suede-like; one black shawl with tiny beaded fringes (bloody heavy but so adorable); a pair of dark blue jeans that make my butt ALL BUT DISAPPEAR, plim!, how user-friendly; and a lovely soft suede mokka-brown belt. I feel SO MUCH BETTER!!! What is it abt clothes and books that makes my endorphin levels SOAR? So lovely. I'm floating in an ocean of smileys.

I've decided I will not go the pill road tonight. I'm scared neither the Stilnox nor the Numbom I still had from my terrifying insomnia crisis in 2001 would take hold. And if they didn't there would MOST DEFINITELY be a fair amount of whining and tear-shedding done around the flat - and self-whining increases my testosterone levels dangerously and I'm not in the mood for Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown so it was a good thing I was reminded of this alternative by 2 people:


I never really drink. I don't much care for the taste of any alcoholic drink, with very few exceptions: the Martini Bianco that comes in a bottle; Asti champagne, VERY sweet; Caipirinha - very VERY weak and LOADS of sugar; Bailey's; Mon Cheri - you know, the chocolate thingies with the liquor cherry inside, I eat too many and my legs fail me. I SWEAR (if you knew me IRL you'd know how pathetically true this is, my friends mock me mercilessly but are oh so happy with the permanently designated driver, plus I'm very low maintenace, one sip and you get your very own lapdance) (trying to live up to this whole LIONESS business). This is also why I don't appreciate alcohol, bcs it gets to my body - forget the head - too fast and too exponentially. Even when something doesn't TASTE alcohol-y (V. this word is for you! ;D) I know it's there bcs my eyebrows ALWAYS feel funny. I can't explain it, it sounds silly but I always know. Plus - and this is SO VERY humiliating - I start lisping a bit. LISPING, I ask you! In all languages. In Hebrew it's made much worse bcs 1) my Hebrew ain't so brilliant anyway [insert mild sobbing session here, Wiggle, the Maladjusted has temporarily taken over]; 2) I already do this funny thing with the ש (shin, "SH" sound - VERY cute link!) for some reason, which I don't do in any other language where the sound also exists - which is EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM!!! So I will now go to C. (if I can get Blogger to gracefully post this and not swallow whole paragraphs and get stuck) to buy something devilish to drink, and a barbequed chicken bcs I am NOT going to cook tonight, my angst is quite enough as it is without my having to add my terrible cooking to it (and here you thought I was so feminine, didn't you).

And this not-even-worthy-of-such-a-name drinking binge might (please please please!) be just the thing I need is to be able to fall asleep at a decent time one evening, wake up at 7 am the next day, repeat the process, BREAK THE CYCLE and I'll slowly leave the
Circles of Hell behind me.

On the other hand, if I BY ANY CHANCE end up making a lush spectacle of my very wasted self on the roof tonight,

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At 19/10/04 21:04, Blogger Noorster said...

Money - out.
Clothes and other decadent goods - in.
Happiness - in.
It's so true, it's almost a cliché. Wait, it is a cliché.
*Runs off to put new baby blue jacket on, read new book, wear new lipstick*

At 19/10/04 23:20, Blogger Paranoid said...

Funny, whenever I spend money I tend to wince at the thought of having to work for it all over again.

I'm going to maximize my psychological problems, contract even more extreme insomnia and xenophobia, and apply to the government for a monthly check because I'm too psychologically strained to leave the house.

I know people who've done this.

Good luck, you little alky, you.


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