Friday, February 25, 2005

Haval al ha-dema'ot

I'm back in Lisbon. Am relieved I'm not in the kibbutz anymore, him everywhere i turn to. Kept getting up in the evenings to go back to the room, never mind that there is no room, just kept getting up. Could not believe i was there. cannot believe i'm here, doesn't help either. Very grateful i went, very very grateful. so good to be able to hug Lila, she and her family are always a haven. feels like i was away for a lifetime. saying goodbye to his family was horrendous. His mum told me i'll always have a home w them, such a terrible thing to say now. there may be many rooms in my father's house but they're all empty, they're all empty. Lila and i have taken the mad laughter road without looking back. Started w emails, death jokes. Now it could be anything. Had a nightmare and woke up at 4 am, couldn't fall back to sleep? Courtesy of Uzi Saghi. Which makes for a good acronym, CUS, which in hebrew is pronounced Koos, which actually means something really vulgar in arabic, which is actually part of an arabic curse israelis use a lot, cus emek, and which he was very fond of especially when he stubbed his toe and the likes. So now CUS is randomly applied to Everything That Is Wrong, which right now is basically everything. We used to do a lot of birdwatching, he had the most amazing eye for finding all sorts of critters. I'd forgotten how elusive the birds were at times but it all came rushing back with lorry strength when Lila and I were discussing something, the funeral maybe, most probably, and she said Birds don't come easy and my coke went neatly through my nose. She used to sing it to me when our birdwatching went poorly to the tune of Words don't come easy. So BDCE can be used for anything, it's rather philosophical. I showed Z. my blog and he read Squarepeg's comment abt how i must be a lifeline to them. I said it was actually the other way round, he said we are all each other's lifelines (and my god, when did he become this wise, he's my Tig's little brother). but before that he'd asked what a lifeline was bcs he didn't know the word and i said "Well, say you're on a boat and someone's drown-" and I froze, looked at him very seriously, he looked at me very seriously, i said Oops, i said DROWNING! and we started laughing hysterically and high-fiveing each other. It warranted it didn't it. Hysteria is always just a thought away. [hearbreak #347: Uzi used to spell his last name without an H and i told him in some countries - like here - the G would cause it to be pronounced Sajee, so he went with Saghi from then on. Z., his brother, was giving me his email so we could chat on MSN and I noticed he spells it wtih an H as well. I said Oh, you spell it SagHi? Funny that, and he said No, he told me to and why. It lives on.] Lila says Z. collects such treasures. There is an expression in hebrew that means something like "too bad/bad luck is to be the one who is dead". Someone was in his parents' house talking and said "haval" (too bad, bad luck) [Squarepeg has corrected my translation in the comments. I still think that, despite its literal translation, it should be translated into English as "shame abt something-something" bcs that's the closest approximation in actual meaning.] and someone else started using the expression I mentioned, stopping abruptly after "haval al" when he realised what he was abt to say. Lila says Z. turned his head so he could look at her and smirked. OOPS. When we were walking back from the f. we were discussing how quick it must have been. As far as it could be reconstructed bcs the hotel manager's son survived, Aya was on the beach and Uzi was in the room. He had a stomach ache (he ALWAYS had a stomach ache, he ate terribly and drank too much milk) and was still sleeping. Sleep he could do as well, any time, anywhere, no problem. Aya escaped the first wave but not the second one, a wall fell on her. Uzi was unblemished - for a corpse, that is - apart from a bruise on his thigh. They were found very far away from each other. So knowing him, if he'd as much as had a few seconds warning, he'd have fought like hell. Seems he didn't so we think he sort of woke up dead, as in Why the wings? This is another winning sentence, to be followed immediately by Oops, don't say wings. listening to the radion ensures we will not have a moment of quiet bcs songs are all made of very funny, well-timed words, it turns out. another winner is Oh haven't the Jewish people suffered enough, that will set us off immediately as well. I emailed Lila yesterday to tell her I'd arrived safely [don't say "safely"] and told her I was feeling sorry for my different-faith acquaintance, who's here visiting due to some karmic misfiring or something bcs I really don't know what to do with myself at times nowadays and sometimes it'd be much better if I were alone. And she emails back it's alright, them people have not suffered enough just yet, so i think thi is a good opportunity for that.

And the Jewish people really have NOT suffered enough yet bcs the sound of an alarmingly big amount of glass shattering just came in from the kitchen and upon examination, it would seem the different faither, God bless all minorities, has effectively blown up the stove lid and glass is littering the kitchen floor and the hallway. No humans and other animals were harmed [don't say "harmed"].

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At 25/2/05 11:08, Anonymous Bible said...

John 11:31
"The Jews then which were with her in the house, and comforted her, when they saw Mary, that she rose up hastily and went out, followed her, saying, She goeth unto the grave to weep there. 32 Then when Mary was come where Jesus was, and saw him, she fell down at his feet, saying unto him, Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died. 33 When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews also weeping which came with her, he groaned in the spirit, and was troubled. 34 And said, Where have ye laid him? They said unto him, Lord, come and see. 35 Jesus wept. 36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved him! 37 And some of them said, Could not this man, which opened the eyes of the blind, have caused that even this man should not have died? 38 Jesus therefore again groaning in himself cometh to the grave. It was a cave, and a stone lay upon it. 39 Jesus said, Take ye away the stone. Martha, the sister of him that was dead, saith unto him, Lord, by this time he stinketh: for he hath been dead four days. 40 Jesus saith unto her, Said I not unto thee, that, if thou wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory of God? 41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead was laid. And Jesus lifted up his eyes, and said, Father, I thank thee that thou hast heard me. 42 And I knew that thou hearest me always: but because of the people which stand by I said it, that they may believe that thou hast sent me. 43 And when he thus had spoken, he cried with a loud voice, Lazarus, come forth. 44 And he that was dead came forth, bound hand and foot with graveclothes: and his face was bound about with a napkin. Jesus saith unto them, Loose him, and let him go. 45 Then many of the Jews which came to Mary, and had seen the things which Jesus did, believed on him. 46 But some of them went their ways to the Pharisees, and told them what things Jesus had done. 47 Then gathered the chief priests and the Pharisees a council, and said, What do we? for this man doeth many miracles. 48 If we let him thus alone, all men will believe on him: and the Romans shall come and take away both our place and nation. 49 And one of them, named Caiaphas, being the high priest that same year, said unto them, Ye know nothing at all, 50 Nor consider that it is expedient for us, that one man should die for the people, and that the whole nation perish not. 51 And this spake he not of himself: but being high priest that year, he prophesied that Jesus should die for that nation; 52 And not for that nation only, but that also he should gather together in one the children of God that were scattered abroad."

 
At 25/2/05 14:26, Blogger Viscondessa said...

Hey Lioness, apologies for using this medium, but I know you'll see it this way. Please get in touch. Did the package arrive? Hi to B., hope you'll consider coming up for Mon. (Did you get my SMS?) Free lodging, we have an unoccupied room at the moment. V.

 
At 25/2/05 14:32, Blogger Ana said...

I'm glad you are back. It seems like an eternity since you left to us too.

 
At 25/2/05 14:44, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Hi. I'm glad you're back as well.

I read Barrett's post, I guess Beth and I'll have to make sure we get detailed instructions before turning on anything.

Love you,

D

 
At 25/2/05 17:32, Blogger Ed said...

That was beautiful; so evocative. And the humour makes it all the more poignant and beautiful. CUS...I'll remember that one!

Glad you got back safely (oops).

 
At 25/2/05 20:03, Blogger brooksba said...

Hi Johnny,

I'm glad you are back too. I read B's post and had to laugh a bit. Like DM, I'm hoping not to destroy your flat now.

It's good to "see" you again. I missed you.

Beth

 
At 25/2/05 20:52, Blogger Noorster said...

I'm soooo glad to hear (read) from you again. What can I say, you ROCK even in grief. (Can we say grief? No? OK)
You're a beautiful creature and I missed you - which is funny because we were never at the same place to begin with. Hang in there. *hugs*

 
At 25/2/05 22:13, Blogger squarepeg said...

AHA! I knew you couldn't keep quiet for long! (Can we say "lishtok"?) Anyway, v good to have you "with" us again -- v evocative stream-of-consciousness, as was said. BTW, "haval al..." means "waste of ..." as in "haval al hakesef" -- waste of money.

 
At 26/2/05 00:04, Blogger Scully said...

I missed you. I'm so glad you're back.

I'm also glad you're into the black humour right now. It's a good place to be.

 
At 26/2/05 06:14, Blogger Lord Chimmy said...

So glad to see you back at the blog. If you are not a strong person then you know how to put on a good show. I hope you're holding up as well on the inside.

 
At 26/2/05 07:14, Blogger Savtadotty said...

Thanks so much for posting. I've been thinking about you all week, wondering when we'd hear from you again. Now I start noticing birds, looking for their yellow chests, and it's because of you (and Uzi)!

 
At 27/2/05 17:42, Blogger Dale said...

Love you, hon. Be taking good care of yourself.

 
At 1/3/05 21:59, Blogger Kristin said...

Lioness...been thinking of you often. I'm glad you are back. I continue to keep you and Uzi in my prayers.

 
At 2/3/05 13:11, Blogger Soper said...

OK, darling, as soon as I finish my second cup of coffee I will put on my invisible funny cape and get to work....

 

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