Monday, May 09, 2005

My troll is a Goldstein

I must have arrived.

I suppose I have, only I've arrived in a place where the only emotion available to me is not one I care much for. What lives some people must lead, full of written desperation... I've just received an email from a character called Orli/Nancy Goldstein.

Orli/Nancy Goldstein is not happy. No, she's not happy AT ALL. Orli/Nancy Goldstein had this to say to me (copy-pasted verbatim so no need to correct MY English):


From: Nancy Goldstein
Subject: miserable
Date: Mon, 9 May 2005 10:30:02 -0700 (PDT)

What pride?, you are the most miserable , demeaning, low self esteem female. I have ever encounter.

Good luck with your pitiful , wasted life.



Ah, Orli/Nancy... I've emailed back asking if she was having a bad hair day. Some women do take those things rather seriously. I was briefly tempted to tell her, in the immortal words of Julie, to eat my fuck. But quite frankly, can't muster the energy, it'd be like taking the flu personally.

Can you imagine the pain of Being Orli/Nancy Goldstein? [Oh look, BONG!]

You've come across a blog where I talk about my best friend, killed in the tsunami. The way you react to it can only fill me with pity. I know that's not the emotion you wanted but it's all I have to offer you really. And I know that wasn't your intention either but it can't be helped, I have to thank you. I DO feel a bit chipper now. Thinking of BONG has made me really realise how fortunate I am in general, pain and all, and how incredibly lucky I was in particular - and if all this pain is the price I pay for having known him, so be it. My Tig is mine to remember.

Mind tall buildings and pianos now, Uzi DOES have a wicked sense of humour and I'm not sure how much restraint he has these days. Blame the wings, you know how that goes.


[I finished writing the post and went to my bedroom. The door was closed bcs I'd left the windows open. I turned on the light and a dark butterfly started banging against the ceiling lamp. I closed the door quickly and it flew in my direction, landing on the closet door next to me. I took a good look at it - it wasn't a butterfly, it was a moth (TOLD you he had a wicked sense of humour!). A HUGE moth, the biggest I've ever seen. I turned off the light and turned on the nightstand one and stood by the window w it, holding the lamp on the outside to help guide it out. (I like the idea of me as The Leptidoptera Beacon.) Moth wouldn't budge. Still there, last time I checked. I LOVE it.]



At 9/5/05 21:34, Anonymous Nikki said...

Nicely done. The pain will subside and the joy of rememberance will remain, it'll take a while, but you'll get there. Take care!

At 9/5/05 22:04, Blogger Eliyahu said...

usually, in these emails comes advice that I can rid myself of weight and please all the women I like all night long....maybe goldstein was supposed to be selling prozac? (or better, taking it!) I can think of a few other names, but your's is better! go, girl!

At 9/5/05 23:32, Blogger Noorster said...

Uh, trolling is the sincerest form of flattery, maybe?

At 10/5/05 00:33, Blogger CarpeDM said...

BONG = Miserable wanker. I think that's going to be my new phrase. I like it. And we have Orli/Nancy to thank for it.

Another butterfly/moth from Uzi! I know he's sending them to you.

Love you!

At 10/5/05 03:10, Blogger brooksba said...

You handled that (insert very nasty words here) of a woman quite well. Classy.

How lovely to find the butterfly. Uzi does know how to touch your heart.

Love you and miss you terribly.

Beijos (or as I used to write hugs and kisses as a kid, "XOXO."


At 10/5/05 03:53, Blogger Lala said...

This is completely unrelated to your post but I've come to love Uzi too. Thank you. I saw his name in Time Magaine here months ago and thought of you, of course, but I couldn't bear to tell you because I didn't want to cause you more pain. But when I saw his name I made a noise that my husband heard and I had to stop for a moment to think of him and say that prayer. He's come alive for me through you.

At 10/5/05 04:42, Blogger Lord Chimmy said...

Orli sucks. Talk about a loser. Isn't it ironic that she calls you a miserable, demeaning, low self esteem female...hmmm, sort of sounds like dear old BONG.

At 10/5/05 11:53, Anonymous Anonymous said...

sweetie, orli's email was about HER, not you.

i am glad you have uzi's words, although it was tragically short, he so obviously loved his life. he wasn't waiting for a life, he was living it.


At 10/5/05 18:51, Blogger Bubbi said...

There is always one--one "knucklehead" (as my grandkids would say).

Take care Pride!

At 10/5/05 21:36, Blogger paulmonster said...

Strange how it takes a coldhearted opposition to provoke the determined within us all.

Moths as allegories of lost souls seeking light have been whispering in my daydreams all day, now. I recently heard an audio recording of one of JFK's speeches at the State House in Beacon Hill, Boston, where he quoted that famous Puritan phrase about the "city on the hill, a light to all" so now I imagine rustling flocks of moths swathing the lights of Boston with their soft, dry kisses.

Comfort and strength to you, dear Lioness.

At 10/5/05 21:53, Blogger Diana said...

And you wonder why I do not have an e-mail account set up with my blog. What a pathetic turd BONG is. I will now laugh and point in her general direction (the computer screen).

At 10/5/05 23:02, Blogger Sk8RN said...

What a nasty person. I'm sorry you got such inappropriate hate mail. I keep waiting to get hate mail that I might actually be worthy of. ;-) Fortunately, I've avoided any thus far (No, that is not an invitation to readers of your blog). ;-) I hope you don't let her nasty sentiments go to heart.

At 11/5/05 09:15, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lisa from On the Face also had a Goldstein troll for her last post -but this was a J not Orli/Nancy. I wonder if they are the same or maybe related? Treppenwitz also has had a run in with Goldsteins...
You can rest assured that your beautiful Uzi lives on through your words and in all of us who read you here.

At 11/5/05 12:01, Blogger The Lioness said...

Thank you anonymous. Your comment got me thinking and actually inspired the latest post.

[Well thank you all really but you know what i mean. I hope]

[I didn't remember her troll was a Goldstein, bizarre, yes.]

At 11/5/05 19:28, Blogger ThreeBees said...

I'm so sorry about your troll. . . I'll never understand why people feel compelled to tell you how to deal with your own experiences and your own life. Honestly -- my mind is boggled!

If it matters at all, I think you are awesome! ;)

At 12/5/05 07:51, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm "anonymous" from above. I'm so glad to have inspired the latest post - even in the smallest way. As you can see by all the amazing comments there, I'm not alone in being touched by your words about Uzi. From your writing, I feel as though I knew him and that face, that is just so familiar. Isn't the blogosphere incredible!

At 16/5/05 16:46, Blogger The Lioness said...

Thank you 3Bees, and thank you Fay, for the inspiration and your name. feels better this way.


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