Monday, February 20, 2006

The pink elephants in the room are a river in Egypt

Let's see if I can write this post [don't want to write this post] without mentioning said elephants.

So. February, yes? February, whom I've been studiously avoiding for the past week.

[don't want to write this post]

Remember him? The slightly less famous one. The event mentioned in the before-last sentence of the 2nd paragraph happened on the 7th. As luck would have it, today would have been his birthday [don't want to write this post], today, the 2oth of February. [I think I hate February] It has since been a tradition that his pseudo-harem (i.e. tweedle, my friend Shrimpy, my friend B., T. - another former President of AI whom I've mentioned bfr, myself and a few other Zémanoupies) meet for dinner on his birthday. Today. While I was in Israel I missed all these dinners, obvioulsy, and then some years it wasn't possible, and then last year I was otherwise engaged - this will be the first time I will actually be able to attend.

As luck would have it, remember him? [don't want to write this post][hate my archives] Yes, as luck would have it, little elephants everywhere a year ago today.

People find it odd I can't be bothered abt Valentine's Day. I've always found it a bit daft, truth be told. Everyone, love your partner today! Now! No. But, as luck would have it [don't want to write this post], guess when I learnt this? Good thing I never did enjoy Valentine's Day.

Well fuck this, time to say Voldemort.




As luck would have it, both Uzi and Zé Manel are dead, in case there were any remaining doubts, and both would find it very funny that Voldemort means Flight of Death, though Zé Manel falling must have been more like the crumbling of a chain of mountains and I can't still believe I didn't feeel the vibrations all the way across the earth on the kibbutz, , and my Tig never did stand a chance with this fight or flight thingy. [Tsunami, flee - get it? Ha! Hysterical, I know.]

As luck would have it, am still sick. Had a fever again last night. Want to hear something funny? Funnier than the tsunami/flee thing, even. Remember the kaddish? Ah, we've all met my psyche and my psyche was most displeased with the schedule. At exactly 7 pm I started shaking and shivering and all of a sudden I had a fever and would you know, I could NOT go? Isn't that the most amazing coincidence? As luck would have it, bcs Uzi was not buried within 2 days of his death it's the funeral date that counts for the Yahrzeit and that will be the 11th of March. Psyche or not, it will happen. As will tonight.

So I will be going out in a while, and we will remember Zé Manel and eat more than we should. He taught us well. We will laugh and tell stories and be sad and very happy we had him, and then we'll curse loads in his honour and make him proud of us. And Uzi will be there as well, as he is always, nestling somewhere beneath my solar plexum, in the very core of me, my centre where all else is peripheric. And he will be toasted and remembered as well, and they will be remembered together next year, and the one after that, and the one after that, for as long as we can, and after we no longer can I'm sure we'll find a way.

And my Porties will know exactly what I mean when I say that my elephants, even the pink ones in the room, are so very worth it, and I will sing them with my words, with my actions, till my voice aches, from water lilly to water lilly, AMEN.



At 20/2/06 18:44, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Oh, sweetie. I'm beginning to hate February for you as well. And for you to be sick on top of it? Well, this just sucks. Thinking of you lots.

At 20/2/06 20:30, Blogger brooksba said...

February is a hard month. I hope you are able to get over your fever soon. You don't need to be sick too.

Love you.

At 21/2/06 12:13, Blogger Ana said...

Yes, this is a bad month. I'm so sorry.

At 21/2/06 13:57, Anonymous liquicat said...

this was a powerful post (including the posts linked-to which i have read before but was moved all over again in the re-reading).

the honesty with which you share is beautiful and touching. thank you for being you.

At 21/2/06 14:14, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was such a beautiful post and I know that I will never be able to forget Uzi. I also think of your other friend Ze Manel as well. At least there's only a week left of Feburary and then it's bulb flowers - daffodils and tulips and bloomin' life being so bloomin' beautiful. It'll come. *Hugs*
Betty xx

Ps: Sorry this is anonymous. I'm at my college library and I can't remember my password.

At 24/2/06 02:01, Anonymous Anonymous said...

am considering portugal or spain for vacation this summer. must have sangria and laugh about discworld with you.

but what i want to know is what happened with the maid?


At 24/2/06 22:27, Blogger M said...

Johnny, you are awesome. Never change.

At 25/2/06 05:39, Blogger Dale said...

Hey, you're back and you never told me! Is that fair?


At 8/3/06 22:03, Anonymous wessel said...

Hate February too. You know how we have Adar I and Adar II? Well, I think we should just have January, then March I followed by March II. Just get rid of Feb altogether. That's what I would do, if it were up to me.

So sorry, for the pain in your heart at this time and always.


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