Saturday, December 18, 2004

OMG I'M MAD-Y!

OMG OMG OMG!!!! Am I serioulsy considering this? Travelling into THE SNOW?? YES. What am I thinking, what am I thinking!!! (breathe L, breathe, in and out, yes, that's it) What the hell can I be thinking, I must be mad! Is this not mad? This is mad! And yet I'm surfing the web, looking for, er, things that fly and DO NOT crash please God. Oh bloody hell. Well, I suppose one place is as good as another to study and what with the cold - oh fuck me the cold!!!! THE FUCKING COLD!!! What will I do??? How do people leave their houses, I WILL DIE! OMIGOD, -5,8 F??? That seems awfully low, doesn't bode well, what's that in Celsius? -21º???!!! As in BELOW ZERO? What do they mean IT FEELS LIKE? They can't be sure? It gets worse than the actual temperature? Oy! And I will die, 5 cm of snow?! I don't DO snow! Snow is COLD, I don't even own any snow clothes, I have no clothes for when it's, you know, SNOW COLD because it's so impossibly unbearable to even think about it I have no wish to get close to it! I have seen snow exactly three times in my life and I am cold all the time here, imagine in - OMIGOD, I WILL FREEZE!!! I can barely survive 10 ºC, and see, that's 50º F, sounds like a lot doesn't it but nor once you convert it into proper UNDERSTANDABLE temperature, it's much too low, breathe, L, breathe, don't panic. I am dead! Actually, I quite fancy the idea of going to a frozen country, it's as close to radical sports as I'll ever be but. BUT. I will turn into a block of ice, seriously, doesn't it hurt terribly to breathe? How does one survive snow? And the cold in general, this sort of cold I mean? With SOUTHERN EUROPEAN clothes that is? Oh bloody hell, I won't be found till Spring.

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Overheard on MSN:

Noorster diz:
about the cold believe me, I know my shit. But the key to the cold game is LAYERS
Noorster diz:
over waist: bra, sleevless top or even better, a body, a thinner cardigan, a warm sweater, scarf that not only covers your neck but also covers part of your chest, and a jacket
Noorster diz:
below waist: semi-thick stockings (the trouser-like ones) - like 50 den thick, knee-length socks, jeans
Noorster diz:
if you can't get hold of them, try a pharmacy for compression hose (varicose vein stockings). AND: gloves. if you don't have a warm cap or hat, or you don't like wearing them, try at least covering your ears. Also: never let your feet go cold. if necessary, carry around an extra pair of smaller but warm socks
Noorster diz:
now, about beauty routines - they can be life-saving: lip balm, body lotion and moisturiser. It counts believe me

Yup, come Spring.

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11 Comments:

At 18/12/04 18:42, Blogger Viscondessa said...

Listen very carefully, L. Very carefully. BUY LONG UNDERWEAR. Silk long underwear are great because they fit under tight clothes. Do not hesitate. You will need them. Do NOT get on that airplane without them. I don't want you to be shipped home as a block of ice.

Wooly gloves. Wooly hat. Wooly scarf. Long underwear. Shoes with traction. Even lionesses need external insulation. Why not wait till a warmer season? ;-)

 
At 18/12/04 18:53, Blogger The Lioness said...

Where does one find SILKY LONG UNDERWEAR in Lisbon pray tell, I have NO bloody clue! Surely NOT Carrefour, there's a thought.

 
At 18/12/04 19:25, Blogger Savtadotty said...

Forget about long silk underwear, look for Capilene (fabric) by Patagonia (brand). I have no idea where in Lisbon you can find this underwear, but I would go to the best hiking/trekking/sports equipment shop in any city and ask. It's lightweight, it breathes, and it's 100 times warmer than silk. Very good for us thin-blooded types.

 
At 18/12/04 19:46, Blogger Viscondessa said...

Guarda.

 
At 18/12/04 20:10, Blogger The Lioness said...

Guarda tu que é muito longe.

 
At 18/12/04 20:15, Blogger brooksba said...

Lioness,

As for warmth, I'd second the layers. Layers are a life-saver for winter. Cute turtleneck sweaters are fun too!

Do you have a coat with an extra lining in it? This is also good. And longer coats are good.

Do remember to get either a hat that covers your ears or ear muffs. They help a lot!

And if my experience of living in Minnesota is typical for other cold climates, spending mucho time outdoors is probably not going to happen. Unless people are snowmobiling, skiing, or making snowmen (more for kids), you don't see tons of people wandering the streets in the winter. Heck, I spend more time indoors during the winter so I don't even own a scarf. I really should. Hmmm. You'll survive the cold - you are strong!

Beth

 
At 18/12/04 20:27, Blogger Viscondessa said...

Duh. Just being helpful, in my own special way. ;-)

 
At 18/12/04 23:45, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you all really, my mind is now reeling, this is a parallel universe and I am still in shock.

 
At 18/12/04 23:48, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was me, sorry, and it reads sarcastic but it wasn't, thanks for the advice REALLY.

 
At 18/12/04 23:49, Blogger The Lioness said...

Oh BLOODY HELL!!! (Hey, it's 23.50 and I'm sleepy, you think maybe...)

 
At 24/12/04 19:36, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Crack me up. You'll be fine. Well, fine is relative when you're talking about snow but you'll be okay. Just keep your ears covered. Don't go outside with wet hair because frozen hair has been known to break. Trust me on this.

 

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