Saturday, September 03, 2005

Sorrow still floats, Irving still right

Feel helpless, nothing worse than that.

[Don't want to sleep bcs every time I do I dream of the people in the Dome and the people in the Convention Centre and the people on the freeways and highways and the people on the streets and the bodies floating in the water and oh the bodies in the water and I don't know why I am having flashbacks of those images I saw when I still hoped Uzi was still alive and spent hours looking at pictures from the tsunami and the bodies trying to identify him bcs this was a natural disaster but one that was expected, I cannot explain it and didn't know until I woke up at 5 am last night that it was affecting me so thoroughly, I knew I'd been avoiding all coverage of it but I thought it was merely part of my general life strategy these days - i.e. no misery in my life if I can help it - but I suppose it isn't bcs I've also been thinking abt all those who haven't heard abt their family and pets and friends but I choose to believe that most of those will receive the right sort of phone call please God let them receive the right sort of phone call bcs life becomes a bit of a nightmare otherwise and I am so bloody tired of all these Life-Before-And-Afters. I fear I may become thick-skinned, I fear I won't.]

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