Wednesday, May 10, 2006

This isn't fair!

Through Grrl I found Cancerbaby and have been reading her for months, and checking for an update anxiously. She is dying, as we feared. She is dying and I don't know how to explain how this death is affecting me. Her words are so powerful, so raw, they bite through your soul and expand it. I never cry reading blogs and I am in tears now bcs of a woman whose real name I don't even know. A woman who actually made me cry when she wrote this. All I know is that she writes beautifully, extraordinarily and has thus changed my life, given it more meaning, all I know is I want her to live. She is absolutely magnificent and I cannot believe she will be no more. It really doesn't seem to be abt fairness does it. Fuck if I know what it's abt. I will remember her always, and always with gratitude and wonder.

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Update: She's gone. Her name was Jessica, and she was 33.

[If you want to read her, which you should if you want to see yourself turned inside out and enriched in a way you didn't think possible, in a way that only words accomplish, that only some words accomplish, heartbreaking as it is, her archives only show until June. But while inside the June 2005 archives, at the top, you can see a link for May and so forth till February 2005, the beginning. This woman was a true gift.]

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6 Comments:

At 11/5/06 09:45, Blogger Tertia said...

It is so unfair, I am so sad. Life can be so incredibly unfair sometimes, i just dont get it.

 
At 11/5/06 10:11, Blogger brooksba said...

It is unfair. This is sad news.

 
At 11/5/06 13:58, Blogger Diana said...

No words.

Just tears.

No sense.

Just sorrow.

 
At 11/5/06 18:57, Blogger CarpeDM said...

This is very sad. I don't understand why these things happen.

 
At 12/5/06 06:31, Anonymous Duchess said...

I am with you all the way. The name thing got me yesterday, all of a sudden I was sitting at my desk crying. She is an amazing soul and it is SO unjust that the world is losing her.

 
At 15/5/06 04:36, Anonymous Manuela said...

tears... no words... just tears.

 

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