Wednesday, July 19, 2006

What to do when you're worrying abt living friends, dead ones (though less bcs it's a bit redundant), exams and the size of your arse

Hallo! It's 2.35 am! GUESS WHAT?



When I was abt 15 I started carrying a little book around with me so I could write down the inanities I heard bcs some things were simply too funny to be forgotten. Funnily enough I figure prominently in it bcs I was the one variable that never changed and no one forgave me a single inanity. [I disbelieve what a bleeding idiot I can be at times.] One day, when I feel up to writing my Kibbutz Volunteer Memoirs, I'll go foraging for the relevant one bcs there was one volunteer in particular who was very, very blonde. The a-tad-unwashed sort at that.

Fortunately, Kuhn was right and I have just found a site that emulates that fine spirit of yore. Sadly, it comes with headlines but stick to the post itself and you'll find your slapping impulses greatly reduced. But look, LOOK:

Saleslady: Where are you from?
Tourist: Kansas City.
Saleslady: There's a city in Kansas? Like with buildings?
Tourist: Yes.
Saleslady: Tall ones?

Just like The Little Notebook!

Now I won't have to resort to becoming a drunk, will remain awake and worried but too entertained to care.


At 19/7/06 09:48, Blogger brooksba said...

I can't get the link to load. Dang!

I have to carry a notebook. There are just too many odd things going on around to not jot down the funny ones. I like the dialogue you posted, there are too many people like that out there.

At 19/7/06 09:51, Blogger Ana said...

For some rreason the link isn't working. Hope you got some sleep.

At 19/7/06 12:18, Blogger pithydithy said...

Wait, there ARE buildings in Kansas?! I'd have thought they'd all get carried away by tornados.

At 20/7/06 11:19, Blogger Babs said...

LOL I love that site. Nothing amuses me more than seeing what twits my fellow Noo Yawkas can be.

At 22/7/06 00:42, Blogger Serialangel said...

Hey girl,

I remember getting finding this site spending way too much of my time looking through lines and laughing my arse off. 'Tis fantastic, truly :)

At 23/7/06 18:24, Blogger Manuela said...

The little kid ones had me laughing... loudly.

Let me add a couple of mine, k?

Sorry, in advance to American tourists, ok? But these are a couple of CLASSICS that I heard with my very own ears.

American Tourist to tour guide while standing on the deck of a B.C. Ferry looking up at the surrounding mountains,

"Gee... I wonder what altitude we're at?"

"Uh..." tour-guide looks over the edge of the deck down at the surface of the Pacific ocean, "about 20 feet."

American tourist to the operator of a small water-taxi service in downtown Vancouver, British Columbia, CANADA. "I only have Canadian money left... can I pay you with that?"

Sorry... not my fault that they were American... don't flay me.

Look... here's one involving a kid.
This little TYRANT of a kid was being a TOTAL brat at the bank while her mother was dealing with the teller. Screaming, running around, bugging people, throwing toys... finally the mother snaps,
"Listen... you come over here and BEHAVE... RIGHT NOW!... or I'll tell Daddy when we get home."

Little kid, while swinging back and forth on the rope stantion that kept people in order in the line-up... LOUDLY, in that disrespectful sing-songy tone "NO you won't! Cuz then I'll tell Gramma that I saw you with Daddy's pee-pee in your mouth!!"

AAAAGGGGH!!! The embarassment...

At 24/7/06 20:18, Blogger CarpeDM said...

HA! Manuela, these are just funny. It doesn't matter that they're Americans.

J, I loved this site. It made me laugh the other day when I really needed it.


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