And if brains were pasta you'd feel hungry all the time

A long, long while ago I thought it'd be fun to write a series of posts on what makes us distinctly human. I may be in vet school now but am also an Anthropologist and find such things, indeed, fun. I asked readers to be my think tank and leave their thoughts in the comments section so we could build a list and start from there. This is what it looked like when we were finished:

1 - Orgasms, oral sex + missionary position + sex toys

2 - Abortion
- Homosexuality
- Language (not simply communicating)

- Insomnia (how could I've missed this one!)
- Art
- Self-recognition
- Humour/laughter
- Killing own species’ members for no apparent reason
- Culture
- Mourning the dead
- Burying the dead
- Active teaching
- Religion
- Racism
- Revenge
- Tools (makeshift and use)
- Vanity
- Greed
- Imagination
- Clothing
- Intuitive thinking
- Ritualisation
- Awareness of impending own death
- Sense of time (past, future, memories, expectations, learning and planning)

- The Means to Conceivably End All Life On This Planet [just because, there’s no out-arguing this one really]

The first two, sex and abortion, are numbered bcs I did wrote abt them, here and here. But then my insomnia became really bad, and then my world collapsed under liquid pressure, and those were the only ones I ever did write.

Now, remember the very first post was simply a collective brainstorming. It received a new comment:

"Killing own species’ members for no apparent reason " Im no expert but I'm sure that other animals kill their own kind. Your post has an anti-human tone to it, I'm not sure what thats about, but I have to argue
that not humans don't kill each other for "no apparent reason".You also included greed, but don't animals eat until their appetites are fully satisfied. I'm sure they don't eat to just sustain themselves. I also don't think that alpha-male animals will allow less dominate members of their group to have sex withtheir mate. I dont know where you got racism from, that just seems to come out of left field. Your giving something distinctly human, and applying to animals.All in all I think this article is poor and should be backed up with evidence, not just what you think makes us human.

And this took close to 17 min to be written as wel. A Canadian from the Ontario area, you might be happy to know. *sigh*

Theory 1

People who feel very inadequate in real life see blogging as a sort of therapeutic, egomegalotistic power trip where they are entitled to say what they please as they please without being constrained by details such as common courtesy or any social rules really bcs, after all, if we didn't want people to read it we souldn't have written it now should we and I'd be hard placed to find a more inane argument. I think, broadly translated, this means I am allowed to take an ax to the furniture when I go round to someone's house and find it displeasing. My quality of life has just been vastly improved.

Theory 2
Many people feel that it's perfectly all right to finish I don't know how many years of schooling and still not master their mother language. That commenter above doesn't strike me as dyslexic and so I am left feeling pissy. Which adds to the pissy I already felt regarding theory 1.

Theory 3
Anonymous commenters choose to be Anons, not even boothering to choose an alias, bcs not only are they sexually confused but they suffer nominally, in its literal sense of in name only. They look at the little comment box and when faced with the millenary question Who am I? what can they do but whimper. Anons are legion, groinless and encephaless, and out of respect to their predicament I shall refer to my commenter as an IT.

The truth is, I absolutely don't know what the bloody hell IT is talking abt. HELP!

1) Is IT really calling a post that is nothing more than a list an article?
2) Is IT saying that not humans (non-humans, I surmise) do not kill others just bcs? [Warn chimps and bottlenoses quickly!]
3) WHAT exactly is IT saying regarding greed? In one sentence, many worlds. I could cry.
4) Is IT saying Alpha males are omnipotent and ubiquitous? [Warn sea lions quickly! Or most Alphas that turn their back for far too long really.]
5) Is IT really saying I'm racist bcs - I compiled a list? I don't know, I still don't know what he's talking abt.

I am starting to smell a foreign speaker (I smell human flesh, as the Giant in the Bean story says in Portuguese) - well, I smell something malodorous in any case, which leads me to:

Theory 4
Very Stupid People are attracted to me bcs I am kind and gentle, and I handle imbecility so very well.

Anti-human? Absolutely, anon. Three-penised aliens do it that much better.