Friday, January 28, 2005

Bella's Mommie - UPDATE

This is the one thing you need to know about me: you may fuck with me all you want, but stay away from my friends. I will go for the jugular, I promise you. Especially if you choose to kick them when they are at a disadvantage.

I’ve posted here before about the Barren Bitches Brigade, the infertile women who are the ultimate Modern Warriors. Occasionally some people, very often Christian trolls [Chrolls] but by no means always, will get it into their heads that they have a say in what goes on with their lives and reproductive system. Womb vigilantes, as it were. And they will think nothing of telling a woman who just lost a baby that she probably wasn’t meant to be a mummy anyway. They will tell a woman whose twin died in uteru and whose other twin was lost when the pregnancy had to be terminated at 5 months so the mother wouldn’t die that THEY would never do that, they’d let God make a choice (while guzzling antibiotics and having surgery when needed themselves one presumes). They won't be able to see that getting pregnant doesn't mean staying pregnant, and that staying pregnant doesn't mean live baby at the end of it all. Even if they never miscaryy, the pregnancy ensures 9 more months of constant worrying. They will decide these women are disturbed bcs they put themselves, their bodies, their families through hell, emotionally, socially, financially, so they may one day have a baby. They alone hold the truth and the truth is, these women should just buck up and not complain. They should make peace w the fact that God didn’t intend them to be mothers and it’s all for the best. They should, if pregnant, not complain EVER bcs isn’t that what she wanted, never mind that NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND welcomes discomfort and pain, or that many of them have additional pregnancy problems and their waking minutes and many of their sleeping ones are populated by Dead Baby Thoughts. And if they are so lucky as to give birth to a healthy, live baby, again, they are not to be dismayed, overwhelmed, exhausted, scared and should they feel inadequate - well, that’s not a proof of sanity is it, THERE’S YOUR PROOF that they should never have been mothers. We all know that TRUE women can change 3 babies at once (and their babies NEVER cry or get colicky), all the while flipping pancakes, making the beds, presiding over a Tupperware party and farting lilac-scentedly in your general direction. Well, I did hear about it, and actually read about it, and wasn’t so thrilled abt the story myself, and I plan, in fact, to keep as far away from any place named Stepford as humanly possible. But it's ironic that they spend so many years feeling like sub-females and then all of a sudden are expected, OBLIGATED to be Super-Woman.

These women, who are misunderstood by most, even their doctors (and I mean also physiologically, they make the most hideous life-changing mistakes), who have lost so much already, who are deemed unworthy (often by themselves as well) bcs they are either childless or cannot bear their own, these women, who are daily faced with what they are denied, and daily denied what should by right be theirs by biology and life at large, are then verbally robbed by others of their right to choose to try and have a baby. Blind people are never told You should just accept it. They are never told To want to spend ALL THAT money so you can see is insane, there must be something very wrong w you, you should seek help. [HA!] They are never told Well, you CAN JUST READ BRAILLE, there are so many abandoned Braille books that would love to have you read them!. But these women have open wombs, apparently, come on in, have a look, tell us what you think even if it’s cruel, degrading and unacceptable because you know, “mi utero es su utero”. Yes. And their husbands suffer also, make no mistake.

So a troll sent Tertia an email. Tertia, with her newborn twins, Adam and Kate. Over whom she anguished every day of her pregnancy. Over whom she still anguishes bcs they are preemies, and she is an infertile, and infertiles know that hard comes easy goes, life's made sure they were taught that in a myriad of ways. Tertia, who already lost Luke and Ben, to mention just the most recent. And this troll, this Brenda person, aka bellasmommie, writes:


And I am at a loss to understand how anyone can be this abject, this vile. And these people get to breed without knowing a moment of pain. Being self-righteous must indeed be an egg booster. Tertia would normally laughs trolls off but Tertia has her hands full right now, she is exhausted and most of all, she doesn’t deserve this. And especially not from someone named Brenda, with a daughter named Bella, whose husband is probably called Brett. If you define yourself as a MOMMIE, start having some respect for what being a parent really means. No one deserves to be treated like that but Tertia is my friend and, trolls and Brendas alike, should you stumble in here, this is what I have to tell you: don’t pick on the ones who can’t fight back right now. I am here. Let me see how fucking big you really are.


UPDATE - I sent The Brenda this: Do you know, my heart goes out to you, must be hard going through life dull and mean and desperate. We're always here for you, always ready to have a laugh at you because frankly, there's nothing like a juicy troll to start off one's day in a most hilarious manner. Next time you feel the need to spew, pick a fight w me, don't target those who cannot fight back just now.

The Brenda answered w this: How am I desperate. Hummm very interesting, I have everything I need, thankyou very much!

Book of Cowards Rule #1: You must be grammatically deficient, invariably stupid and appallingly dumb.

So bloody boring.

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At 28/1/05 22:25, Blogger Noorster said...

I think 'Chroll' is my new favourite word.

At 28/1/05 22:29, Blogger The Lioness said...

Oh really? Because I created a few more:

- Brolls: Bush trolls (well, you know those)
- Jolls: Jewish trolls (seem to have crawled out of the woodwork w the W.)
- Truggers: Tree huggers (BREASTFEED OR ELSE...!!!)

And I'm sure more will arise as time goes by.

At 28/1/05 23:29, Blogger littlepinkflower said...

You are so amazing! I was tempted to respond to that b*tch myself, but life with my three month old intervened. Before I had her I got all sorts of insane comments and they continue to this day. Having a baby is not all happiness and light and being honest about that doesn't make someone a bad mother. When people ask how I'm enjoying motherhood, I tell them--it's going great NOW, but the first month and a half were really hard. Women need to know this going in--the baby is figuring out what the heck this world is, your hormones are totally f'd up, and nobody is getting much sleep--how is this supposed to be such a great time? Again, thanks for sticking up for Tertia. You're a great friend.

At 28/1/05 23:37, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Wow, you can be vicious. Hope I never cross you. (but glad you are, we like you like that. Well, some of us do and f**k the rest).

At 28/1/05 23:46, Blogger The Lioness said...

Joe, I don't think I was all that vicious, I can be worse. I'd gladly smack these trolls across their filthy mouths, picking on the weak ones is very very ugly and I cannot stand cowards. Deranged people should NOT discontinue their meds, v v dangerous, and the twat is clearly delusional, accusing Tertia of murder. WTF??? (One can say Fuck in my blog if one so wishes to and is kept within limits, yes) She says she's got a toddler and is pg w triplets, I hope they'll make it - if she exists at all that is, have my doubts - but will she eat her own words. Stupid people aggravate me majorly.

Flower girl, always a pleasure. ;D

At 29/1/05 00:48, Blogger [ba] said...

as always you inspire nothing but miles of respect in me.

At 29/1/05 15:59, Blogger Kristin said...

Last post you told your friend they rock. Well, my dear, I'm here to tell you that YOU ROCK!!! Thank you so much for standing up for Tertia and everyone else.

At 29/1/05 16:34, Blogger The Lioness said...

NO NO NO!!! I told you ALL you rock, YOU ALL ROCK! It's in the title!!!

At 30/1/05 00:27, Blogger Kristin said...

Oops...see what one little typo causes...I meant to have it say your friends. Sorry dear, I really did get the point.

At 30/1/05 00:57, Blogger The Lioness said...

See, I thought the typo was on the wrong word bcs you wrote "your friends" instead of "us". See where DISTANCING ONESELF leads to??? Mayhem, chaos! Don't let me catch you doing it again.

At 2/2/05 04:39, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It amuses me that she doesn't want to be seen as desperate but she has no problem with being dull and mean.

and on that note, I refuse to give her another thought.

I found your blog recently and I just wanted to say: You are so very eloquent.


At 2/2/05 14:08, Blogger The Lioness said...

Rhond, if you read this, I couldn't leave a comment bcs I'm not a livejournal user but the lost-y and lost-ness bit - ADORABLE! Kids are such fun when dear parents don't fuck them up (and thanks).


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