Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The donkey and the cow and the pig

The donkey and the cow trampled me. The cow shared her threads of saliva abundantly and took off half of my first skin layer, all 500 kg of her, bcs her tongue is a thing of almost-horned beauty. It turns out that pulling out and holding a cow's tongue may be all I need to develop my arm muscles, cramps and all. The donkey was a bloody pain in the ass [HA!] and it took 5 of us to manage to intubate the beast, plus the aid of a few choice instruments whose name in English I very much dis-know but it involved twisting his upper lip so he would allow us to get close to the nares, and then there was some residual bleeding even though we were really gentle but the donkey bit us and took us for a spin and stood on us and threw us against the manger and the walls and each other and blessedly seemed to have forgotten he could kick bcs the box is tiny and managed to injure himself in the process and I am sore all over and sporting lovely eau de bĂȘte, despite the coveralls, as the dog can atest to, sniffing and filing away for future use still underway. There was no pig, which is a good thing, pigs make excellent biters, I just added a pig to the title bcs I like them. I am knackered and can barely string 2 sentences together. I will answer the comments from the last post and address my fuguey psyche when I can think again, and will put together a post abt why for most of you it'd be safer to eat from your toilet than to use your kitchen utensils. Not kidding at all. Will go and vegetate now and pretend I won't have to get up in abt 10 h. Igit.

[DM, what the hell is a Lioness Lego/leggo??]


At 2/11/05 21:03, Blogger JoeinVegas said...

Become a small animal vet. Cats can bite and claw, but don't kick very often.
See what you have to look forward to?

At 3/11/05 00:48, Blogger CarpeDM said...

Um, the picture that you have in your profile? What is that? It looks like a cat wearing a doctor's outfit that is one of those little lego people.

Not jealous of you at all with the dealing with the animals. Sorry.

At 3/11/05 02:24, Blogger Barefoot Jewess said...

I read part of your post. I'm kinda squeamish when it comes to animals. Ok, I get hysterical.

I think that you are beyond brave to do this vet route. I esteem vets so much. But if it distresses you too much, how about downgrading a little? You don't need to be a warrior, ya know? (Speaking from experience).

At 3/11/05 09:35, Blogger brooksba said...


You deserve the rest. Get some R&R. I admire that you are able to keep going and that you are learning more and more. You will make a great vet. Sorry about the bites. Those are not a bit of fun.


At 3/11/05 12:49, Blogger Diana said...

It's OK if I laugh at your pain, right? You'd laugh at mine. Suddently I glad that most of my patients in training were edentulous, too sick to move quickly, or at least didn't favor licking me.

At 3/11/05 16:14, Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

Yes, become a small animal vet. Although I've known budgies that have drawn blood with their bites.

At 4/11/05 00:58, Blogger Udge said...

bloody pain in the ass yes, very witty use of the word "bloody" :-)

At 4/11/05 18:14, Blogger Dale said...

You vets get to have all the fun. Such peaceful idyllic work with the cute grateful little animals!

(Really, though, do donkeys ever *forget* to kick? Maybe he was just holding off on the nuclear option.)

At 4/11/05 18:38, Blogger Noorster said...

I know it sounds incredibly stupid, but I first thought you were describing a bad dream.

At 6/11/05 18:43, Blogger wessel said...

I thought this was a dream, er, nightmare, too! I second the motion that you should become a small pet vet. Sounds much more enjoyable. Cows are dumb.

So sorry you failed your exam. ACK! :-(


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