OMG I'M SNARK-Y!

I was looking at the Blog Awards Nominations - wait, first you need to know I had no idea what that was until recently, I had absolutely no idea we ourselves could nominate people, I have no idea if they're still going on or if the awards were given out already. I thought I'd take a look and landed in some nomination page whose name had caught my fancy, "Snarkiest Blog". Ha!

To my HUMUNGOUS surprise, I found this:

Posted by: GraydonCarter at December 20, 2004 09:39 PM

I nominate Which Surprised Her.

ME. Apparently, some - well, one - would consider me snarky. Alright, maybe more than one MAY consider me snarky, one thought it actually deserved a prize. It was a case of Which Surprised Her Indeed if I ever saw one, I kept staring at it. There I was, WITH A FULL STOP! Graydon Carter, which I AM SURE IS HIS REAL NAME, YES, has an email that sounds equally legit.

Oh, if you do exist as such my apologies, though I would expect someone with a name like that to not be able to read my blog at all, because we all know that cartographing forests in deep Africa w only the help of the friendly Pygmies - may their self-filed teeth never decay - leaves very little time for anything else. Unless one has wireless, that is. Oh I can picture dahling Graydon fighting off lianas, snakes and leeches [though they have extensive medical uses these days and their image deserves rehabilitation - be nice, they might just save your reattached thumb some day], always with a grin plastered on his mud-besmeared face, because he knows - HE KNOWS - that come evening, oh come evening all will be well, he'll be delighting in his cherished [tin] mug of watery coffee WHILE learning exactly how to perform a cow necropsy [give the buffalos a wide berth though, they tend to gore]. The landscape will be bathed in the soft light of his laptop, conferring it an eerie, piloerection-inducing [yes] look. Wild bunnies will hop over and settle by his feet, mesmerised. Birds will feel compelled to try and help him dress, chirping melodically, even though this is Graydon Carter, The Proper, of the solid British [yes] education, and Graydon Carter would never dream of letting the wilderness get even a glimpse of his not-powder blue longjohns. And that, my friends, makes it all worth while, that's what sustains him as his tattered, bleeding, blister-afflicted feet grow increasingly, unbearably heavier. Poor bastard.

On the other hand, he might just be a humour-riddled lurker. That would make me sad, I've managed to grow quite fond of The Intrepid Explorer in the little while it took me to write this. If you are indeed HIM, thank you - I think. It is very heart-warming, in a way. Sort of. So come out already, do it anonymously if you will, I am rather curious about you. [Oh lurkers, you're such a bloody pain!] And in my case, so sadly true, curiosity kills the cat EVERY SINGLE TIME.